because i need you more than you need me. because i want you more, i know. i'm sorry, please forgive me. but leave me if you want.

things are crazy around here lately. like fourteen hour work days crazy. like i'm feeling all anti-social like crazy. i didn't crawl into my bed until 6am today. the sun was up, damn happy birds were chirping like mad. now i'm all messed up. i thought today was friday and wednesday at different times today. perhaps this is what it feels like to be a mental patient, this strange fog that i find myself in. perhaps i am a mental patient. that would suck. it would be like the last season of felicity when she gets locked up 'cause everyone in her life thinks that she's crazy because she thinks it's a few years later than it actually is. she knows she's not crazy, but no one will believe her. and she just reaches a point where she's too tired to fight EVERYONE in her life any longer. so she just gives up and starts to think that maybe she is crazy. but then ben saves her and she realizes that they are meant to be together because the one she thought she loved didn't believe her, but the one who betrayed her really was there for her in the end. and just when things start to look up for our precious heroine, the plug gets pulled on her story, her bags are packed for her, and we never hear from her again. such is life i guess.

so i saw sigur ros on sunday night with dawnski. being with her is entertainment enough. i never see her anymore. we used to be around one another all the time, but now i'm lucky if i see her once a month. i gotta change that. anyway, the concert was pretty sweet. i wasn't sure what to expect going into it and it definitely wasn't a let down. we had a nice time. car ride home, late at night, windows cracked a wee bit, music blaring, a yelled conversation over the songs. good times. i always walk away from her: with a new song that i was exposed to, feeling that life really isn't all that bad, and plenty of laughs to keep me smiling until the next time i see her. however far off that is.

as for now i'm going to try and find something to entertain me. i wonder if i'll sleep tonight considering that i've only been awake nine or so hours. i had so many plans for the day that my stupid job robbed me of. so the main event of my day was cleaning up my computer. i simplified my desktop now and deleted all the crazy pictures and settled on just one. i feel good about that. john mayer in a sea of white, i feel very good about that. maybe i'll have some more wacko dreams like the ones i had earlier. shoplifting, ice cream from a stranger, my best friend, the perfect gift, my dad, and kissing a sick boy from high school. that part alone was enough to frighten me awake.