"i loved you for exactly who you are. and i'd say you've come the nearest yet by far. and i can lie next to you, but i can't lie to you. so walk into the sun and watch me run into the rain. for you the future's easy so don't weep, for me it's getting steep."

so i bailed on dinner last night. B informed the group that i was pretty sick from the night before so they figured that i wasn't going to show. ms. k texted me and said they were about to enter the hellmouth and asked why i wasn't there. i called her and informed her that she said the hellmouth was in another location before and there couldn't possibly be two. of course she was drunk so she just laughed it off. i told her that i was about five minutes away and i'd see them soon. so we all met up at the coffee house and made our entrance together. everyone was surprised and happy to see me. who knew i was so damn popular? the "band" was already performing so we'd missed the first few songs. we all stood around and said our hellos, hugging one another, talking loudly, oblivious to the fact that we were there to see the band and not one another. it was nice to see everyone again. for whatever reason that's been happening a lot lately. ms. k and the boyfriend, T and her fiance, paul, dave and ellen, mel, mindo and billy, B, and gina the former best friend. once we sat down we talked the entire time we were there. an hour or so later, with the start of the last song, we realized that we had missed the whole show. i guess that was for the best. unlike every other time we've heard eric sing, no natural disasters took place this time. we've survived two tornados thanks to the fury that his voice stirred up. anyway, we survived this one. after the concert he invited us all back to his place but we headed to a bar instead. we broke off into two groups, the sit at the bar group and the play darts group. the former best friend dragged me along to the dart board to be her partner. i believe that we were hustled by ms. k and the boyfriend. i throw like a girl and was lucky to get half my darts to even stick to the board. it was kind of embarrassing because the girls that were playing were throwing better than i was. in spite of my bumpy start we ended up winning the first game. after i warmed up and realized how hard i really needed to throw the stupid dart i was finally able to get us some points. however i had no concept of how to play the second game they picked so i just tossed the darts at the board. i really was just concentrating on getting them to stick. so needless to say we lost that game. yeah, we had a big fat zero for our score. oh well, it was fun and at least i gave them something to laugh at. B wore the new jacket i picked out for him and he looked so cute in it. i got a couple of nice comments about my outfit for the evening as well. yeah i new it was hott when i threw it together, so it was nice to hear that. and yes i really am that shallow. nah, just a dork who likes the attention. anyway, my baby sister is almost here for the holidays. she should be in within the next hour. i can't wait to see her. not sure how much blogging i'll be doing over the next week or so. not that what i write is all that interesting anyway, but you'll have that. it doesn't look like i have any fake dates set up for this week so there really wouldn't be all that much to talk about anyway. i'm still a little freaked by what B told me so maybe that's for the best. i was fine around him last night but since we were in the two separate groups we didn't really have that much contact anyway. it's crazy and i know i'm being stupid but it's bugging me. i guess it's my own fault for building him up as my perfect guy in my head all these years. i'd compare everyone else to him and of course they could never live up to the perfection i thought he was. and then when he dropped the bomb on me i just wasn't sure how that fit in to how i've seen him all these years. i know that he's not perfect, i know that. it's just that to me he was the perfect guy, and what he shared with me just makes me see him as a little less. like i told him the other night it's just going to take me a little time for me to try and wrap my mind around it. i still love him, that part hasn't changed. and i know i always will.