hooray for boobies, booty humpin', and your average thursday night...

thursday night nikki and i went to the best italian restaurant in the world, luigi's.  it's this little old restaurant that's famous for their pizza.  there's always a line, and you're lucky to find a seat on most nights.  i guess there's even a comic strip that's based on this place. the walls are covered in autographed black and white pictures of people who look like they probably could have been famous. it was yum.  starch overload, but yum.  so after our meal we decided to do the bar thing.  i found a place to park and we walked a block or so to the bars.  it was a long walk.  10 degrees, windy, no coat long.  yeah i know it was my choice to do it sans coat, but i didn't want to babysit it all night.  so we quickly walked to the pub that nikki liked.  it was dead, and i was happy.  i wanted to get a few drinks in me before i had to deal with a crowd.  so we sat at the bar and decided to go with beer for the evening.  the music stopped and we sat there and listened to the chatter of the mini crowd that was forming.  i turned and realized that the juke box was located right behind us.  we found a prime spot to rest our sweet little asses: at the bar which meant instant refills, next to the restrooms an obvious perk, and next to said tunage.  i was a happy boy.  anytime i can be in total control of the music that i'm gonna chill to makes me a happy boy.  so of course i had to get coldplay's "the scientist" out of my system.  not the happiest of songs, but it's my song so i of course couldn't pass it up.  i mean that's what you get when you allow that song to be an option in a room where the alcohol is flowing. and of course i had to text the boy to inform him that i was listening to it and was thinking of him.  he was thrilled i'm sure, expecting it to become another one of "those nights".  and naturally it came very close to becoming one of "those nights".  so we picked our five songs and sat back down. 

"nikki we're so cute and popular, everyone wants to be with us."
nikki paused and looks around, "you know what? i think you're right."

i mean it was obvious. 

after some tool picked out these odd meatloaf songs we decided that we again had to get back to the juke box stat.  so i popped in five dollars this time and we controlled the better part of the next hour.  after bringing everyone, well okay just me, down with "the scientist" we decided to keep things upbeat this round.  i have this dorky habit of playing songs that remind me of people in my life for them when they're not even around to hear them.  but i feel better just for making the little gesture.  tool.  we couldn't resist ending our selection with "crazy in love" by beyonce and jay-z.  that song is so old but i enjoy hearing it when i'm drunk.  and that was my anthem last summer.  every party and bar that i was at that played it forced me to ring the boy up and inform him that i was doing some booty shakin' to it.  so again we sat back down and random people just kept coming up to us. 

"see nikki, i told you, people love us.  it's really starting to be too much."

this one chick was there alone and she begged nikki to save her from the 40 year old men that wouldn't leave her alone while i was in the bathroom mesmerized by the windows looking out into the bar.  while you stood there peeing you could look out into the bar, it was odd.  no one could see in, but you could look out while draining your justin trousersnake. so i came back and the girl talked to us for a bit until the old dudes took off.  after that a girl and guy sat next to us and played this porn game that was at the bar.  they too had to talk to us while we sat there.  then after returning from another trip to the restroom, yes the seal had officially been broken, i found a coat on my stool.  i gave nikki my "wtf?" look and she smiled and pointed at this tall hot chick.  "oh that's my coat" she informed me.  "oh" i said wondering what i was going to do.  "do you mind if i leave it there?" she smiled.  "not if you don't mind my ass being all over it" i responded.  "oh not at all" she laughed.  i think she thought i was that i was flirting with her, but i wasn't. so i sat on it for the next hour or so.  when she left she even thanked me for watching it.  odd.   after i ran up a huge tab and got nikki (and myself) good and tipsy, we decided that we simply had to dance.  so i asked my friend the sad bartender girl where we should go.  she told us to hit up "posh" it was the nicer of the two dance bars within walking distance.  so off we headed into the cold night to shake our bootys. 

"hey guys wait" said random girl getting out of her car.
"not more people, really this whole fame thing is getting out of hand.  people need to respect our desire to want to be left alone" i said.
"giggle giggle, drunk words, giggle." i think that was nikki agreeing with me.

she's a tiny little thing but she matched me drink for drink.  plus she did four shots.  i have no idea how she did it.  at one point i looked at her and asked her if she wanted to wear the leather cuff, that i had on my wrist, as a belt.  she is that tiny.  she just told me to fuck off.  then we laughed.

okay, so back to latest crazy stranger.  so this hott girl is getting something out of her car and is asking us to wait up for her.  we were like, "should we know who this is cause she really seems to know us".  so we stopped and waited for her and she rushed to meet up with us.  i swear she was acting like she had been waiting for us and that she knew we'd be hanging out that night.  she was from another state and was in town visiting some relatives.  she was hot, tight black shirt.  fierce camouflage pants.  long curly dark hair.  hot.  "so where are you headed?" she asked.  "um, posh" i answered still confused.  "cool, me too." she told us.  so we walked and talked and exchanged names. as luck would have it nikki had some passes to get us into posh so we could avoid the nasty cover and put our money to a better use, more alcohol. somehow our new friend got out of paying as well. so we walked upstairs to the dance area and found a table. our new friend chatted with us a bit then she had to get her drink on and headed off. we laughed a little about the oddness of this latest encounter, ordered another round and decided to dance. of course at this point in the evening no one was on the dance floor yet. let me just point out that i'm the biggest wallflower you'll ever meet. the only way that i can dance is when i'm lost in the crowd and not really being noticed by anyone. but for whatever reason this night i decided that dancing was far more important than waiting for the chance to blend in. so off we went.

"damn we're popular and hott, we'll get things started for everyone" nikki said.

and you know what we did. shortly after we danced to a few songs the floor filled up. so being the music control freak that i am i asked nikki to go up to the dj and ask to hear some justin timberlake. so i stood in the middle of the dance floor and watched little nikki do her thing. she's such the flirt. before she could get the cuteness that she is back to me JT began and i smiled. so we danced. she went back to ask for a little "toxic" by britney, jc chasez, and some kelis. all my picks. all played the moment nikki asked for them.

after a while nikki and i decided that the floor was getting a little too packed for us. and this one old couple was going at it close by us and that just wasn't acceptable. so we moved to this little roped off like area and created our own dance floor. we were up on this platform looking down on the rest of the crowd and there we danced uninterrupted. then our crazy camo friend appeared out of nowhere as i head off to the restroom.

"so is that your brother?" crazy asked nikki. apparently where she comes from it's normal practice to grind with your sibling on the dance floor.

"um no, he's my friend." nikki explained, wondering about our new friend.
"oh, cause i wanted to hump his booty and i was wondering if you thought he'd mind" crazy explained.
"oh no, hump away!" nikki told her.

nikki filled me in on that conversation on our way home. all of that went down while i was in the restroom calling the boy for like the third time that night. if you see me out and i'm noticeably drunk please remove the cell phone from my ear and hide it from me for the remainder of the evening. i ALWAYS, and i do mean always, get my drunk ass in trouble with my stupid drunk dialing. so anyway, i returned to nikki and out of nowhere crazy starts grinding on me. i'm all like, "hump away babe, hump away". so there we were the happy little threesome grinding in our private dance area. i was the happy meat in a booby sandwich. and all i could think to myself was why does this always happen to me? why can't, just for once, one of the people involved in my groping action be a boy? story of my life.

so after we closed that bar down we asked around for an after hours place to go so we could continue to dance. i approached one girl, who appeared to be in a coma on the stairs, and asked if she new. she didn't, i don't think the bitch could even tell me her name at that point. a cute guy tried to help us out but the only places he knew of were over an hour away. so with that we called it a night. off we walked to my car, while nikki made every attempt to try and keep me warm. she even tried to get me to wear her coat, but i passed. we professed our love for one another the entire walk and she insisted that we had to make this a weekly thing.

"hell yeah we will. but maybe next time we could involve some cute boys in on the booty humpin?"