ghetto sleepovers

last night me and my adorable ms. b chilled like a couple of welfare kids livin' large in the trailer park. apparently my cell phone is being a little bitch. could it be the missing antenna, a causality of the "great drunken incident of 2004". oh yeah, which one? anyway. she called me twice and i missed both the calls. the phone never even rang. i'm walking around the house with phone in hand and the little bitch starts vibrating. what the? two messages, but zero calls. so she'd been trying to reach me for the last hour. i called her back a couple times and she couldn't hear me. we finally got things straight and i took off. first a beer run, then off to the ghetto. she lives in a scary part of town. people standing in the street and refusing to move as you approach them in your car, scary. little five year olds flipping you the bird and cursing at your car, scary. i asked her if she informed her husband of her plans to move to L.A. with me. she said that she'd send him a postcard to fill him in. she bought thirty dollars worth of food, for the two of us. i ate like two dollars worth myself. chips, doritos, pretzels, cheese, cheese sticks, potato skins, candy... i stuck with my beer and doritos. she rented three movies and i brought five with me. she informed me that we'd be watching them all. "it looks like i'll be here for the next three days", i said. we chose go first. one of my favorites, and one she had never seen. i was a little worried, she tends to scoff at my movie choices. i however see nothing wrong with the rules of attraction. she ended up loving go. we did the pallbearer next. gotta get my gwyneth fix. i remember liking that movie a lot more in the past than i did last night. hmmm. after that i told her i needed to head home. it was 2am, and it was snowing again. but she wouldn't let me go. "now we are watching 40 days & 40 nights", she informed me. "my eyes can't stay open that long", i laughed. "no, you are having a sleepover with me. i never have sleepovers anymore. i don't care if you're a boy and my husband is sleeping upstairs, we're having a sleepover", she explained. considering my weakness for all things josh hartnett i caved. i forgot how cute he looked in that movie. i want a boy that dresses exactly like that, the body wouldn't hurt either, but i loved his clothes. my dream boy of the week now looks like josh in that movie or the lead singer from maroon5. why do i feel like i should be cutting out pictures from tiger beat and hanging them on my wall? so about five minutes into that movie ms. b was out. i got up to leave thought "who am i kidding?" and fell back onto the couch. i laid there watching the movie, holding onto my phone in the slight chance that i'd get a call from a kick ass boy, sadly that call never came. instead i just fell asleep to the sight of josh hartnett having sex. things could be worse.

my two favorite lines from the evening:

ms. b: i'm still waiting on that napkin. (after asking mr. b to bring her one a few minutes earlier).

mr. b: i fed you, now go away!
me: are you talking to me?!
mr. b: no the cats, you can eat as much as you want.