nightswimming

we pulled up to the water's edge and killed the engine on your dad's car. you turned the radio up as we both opened our doors to get out. that was the first night i'd heard r.e.m.'s nightswimming. that was the night when we decided to take up smoking, clove cigarettes of course. we sat back on the hood of the car, looking up at the stars. you talked about moving to montana, and finding a simple life. you said you wanted to be bi, because why would you want to cut the chances of finding your soul mate in half. you tried to talk me into switching schools and moving with you.

on the other side of ten years i stop and wonder how different things would be if i would have said yes to your proposition, rather than just laugh it off. i was so completely wrong for you, no matter how much i wanted it to work at the time. you were almost what i wanted, but i could never be what you needed. you tried. i tried. we walked away.