rewind

my day started out with me waking up laughing a little and confused a lot. i had this bizarre xxx dream about my friend jim. now i've never really thought of him in that way. his boyfriend? yes, but him? not so much. so it was completely random and completely off-the-wall. real wasn't even the word for it, and i guess that's why i was a little confused. i haven't been able to shake that one all day. part two tonight? *fingers crossed*

lunch was excellent today. nancy brought us some fresh bruschetta from her other job. i thought i was going to die. i was making all sorts of moaning sounds while eating it. it wasn't that amazing, but i enjoy my freak-like status at work so i had to amuse them in some way. it rocked. she rocks. the end.

so i decided today, yes while eating the bruschetta, that i'm going to start counting calories. i just don't feel like all that i've done over the past year has been enough. sure i see some results (very little) and i'm getting compliments, but it's just not enough. i don't want the compliments, i want to be happy when i look in a mirror. i want to see what they see, and i just don't see it. you see? so i thought i'd give that a go along with the workout routine i'm getting back into. 45-50 minutes on the treadmill every day along with 30 minutes of lifting. maybe i should ask jen for some advice. she seems to be seeing some results with all of her hard work from what i've been reading over the past few months. i just don't feel like i'm at the place where i thought i'd be after a year of all this hard work. i know i'm not where i want to be. i'd like to try and lose say ten more pounds by july. that's doable. i guess i really don't want to lose that much more, i just need to work on the toning thing. but july will bring me my family reunion, ick, and the wedding of one of my best friends from high school, yay. so i'd like to try and feel better about myself by then. *shrugs*

and today found random stranger number four talking to me. (i'll save the other three for another time). i have no idea what it is about me that makes people think that i'm so approachable, but hey whatever. i was standing in line at the post office waiting to mail out kia's package and this man turned around and started talking to me. i agreed that the weather was nice. that winter has been hanging around too long. and that i'm sure people are eager to start golfing again. he told me that he hadn't golfed since last year when he had open heart surgery. i asked him if he was doing okay now and he seemed a little surprised that i showed some concern. he thanked me for asking and said that he was a lot better now. it made me think of my dad and i wished that he could be somewhere having the same conversation with some stranger. but that's not how things played out. so the man let me go in front of him, i mailed the package, and i headed home.

and the end to my perfect day found me seeing that sweet new GAP commercial for khakis. i think that's the guy from under the tuscan sun, the one that was in their old ads as well. hotty mchotterson i think is his name? i want every outfit that he has on in that commercial, especially that bright orangish/pink polo. nice. and i'd like music to play while i'm walking down the street rockin' out in my new clothes, but what can you do? i'd take one of him too, but i haven't been able to find him at my GAP, they must be sold out.