you were meant for me, and i was meant for you

ms. b: will you come to my funeral?

me: yes, can i sing?

ms. b: yeah, what are you gonna sing?

me: hmm, something by x-tina.

us: oh, dirrty!

ms. b: and you can tie little strings to my arms and move me like a puppet when it's time to throw elbows.

me: um, i think your family might be horrified at that.

ms. b: yeah, but it's my funeral. why's it always gotta be about them? that should be my day.

me: you are wrong.

ms. b: why is there nothing cool to do in ohio?

me: i don't know. that's why i want to leave.

ms. b: i wanna move to L.A.

me: really?

ms. b: yes, will you move with me?

me: um, yeah.

ms. b: cool.

me: i think your sister might be pissed if you leave.

ms. b: she'd have to get in line behind my husband.

me: you wouldn't take him?!?

ms. b: hell no, just you. i'm done with him.

me: you're insane.

ms. b: okay, gotta go. he's home with dinner. i need to tell him that i'm leaving him. i'll see you tomorrow night. love you, ba bye!

me: (laughing)