conversations from the workplace

only the adorable nikki could leave her home, lock herself out of her place, and show up to work wearing two different shoes. a black one and a brown one. one slightly higher than the other one, mind you.

nikki: do you think anyone will notice?
me: no. i didn't until you pointed it out to me.
nikki: okay, good.
me: besides no one will be looking at your shoes, they'll look at your boobs.
nikki: bastard.

boss lady: (talking about me) he lingers in the shower. he takes a long time cleaning certain parts, if you know what i mean.
me: well yeah, it's such a big surface area to cover.

nikki: see my cupcake?
me: yeah, it's nice.
nikki: i'll let you lick my cupcake.
(dirty look from another lady)
boss lady: she's just mad because she's never had her cupcake licked.

boss lady: you need to shop at wal-mart for your clothes.
me: why would i do that?
b.l.: since you're trying to save money.
me: i don't go to wal-mart.
b.l.: i'm buying you something from wal-mart, you'll never know.
me: that's just mean. why would you buy someone something from wal-mart?
b.l.: they have some cute stuff.
me: i don't want anything cute, unless it's justin timberlake related.