thursday night. me, nikki, beer, ass shakin'. yeah, you know the drill.

we went for dinner first and i was tipsy after just two beers. no food for eight hours will do that to you i guess. so then we decided to find a place to dance. nikki wanted to take me to the new place she discovered a few weeks back. i'm up for anything, so off we went. we walked in, JT was playing, i knew we were in the right place. i'm so gay. we found a corner booth and people watched. cause that's what we do. this tiny, wee little thing was dancing her ass off on the dance floor. she danced her way to the bar. she danced while waiting for her drink. and she danced herself back to the dance floor. i couldn't take my eyes off of her. she was her own good time. then out of nowhere it happened, dance fever the reunion tour. enter cute dude in leather jacket. he walks right up to wee girl and begins to dance with her. no introduction, no conversation, just dancing. their moves were choreographed it was amazing. it was so out of place for that bar. it was a train wreck that i couldn't take my eyes off of. several times his jacket became a dance partner all on its own. several times he'd just freeze and she'd dance on and around him while he stood there posing. what the hell? amazing. no other word for it. then i spotted the hottness. hott hott guy. sideways ballcap, black wristband, tight polo shirt, baggy jeans. tall, hott and wow. he was dancing alone, he was justin timberlake, he was fun to watch. then i noticed something out of place at the bar. could it be? could that really be a fag and his three hags laughing it up? indeed. so i began to stare. he was cute, well kinda cute. okay, he was average. he caught me staring. i smiled, looking away, pretending to be bored. we made eye contact a few other times, then he and his girls moved to the floor. nikki asked me if i wanted to dance, and we moved to the floor. i requested a lil dirty by x-tina, of course. nikki asked for some janet. of course he played mine, i always get to hear mine. poor nikki. so we danced.

at one point, while on the dance floor, i thought to myself:
"i am rickie vasquez!"
then, moments later:
"reel it in crazy. reel it in, this is a breeder bar."

nikki: look at you dancin' with attitude.
me: me?
nikki: yes, i like it.
me: hehe. (trying to pretend to be embarrassed)

dude and his hags bumped into us a couple times. i kept watching him over nikki's shoulder. just for fun, just to see where it took me. then they headed back to the bar. i pulled a soblo and did the whole hide behind a column thing. it so, so worked. he was at the bar. i was on the dance floor with nikki. he could see me. he was seeing me. i moved to my left to obstruct his view. he moved to the right to see me. i moved more to the left. he moved more to the right. nice. again with the self-esteem. don't know where you came from, but nice to meet you. he came back with one of the girls. i stood there, dancing with nikki, staring him in the eye. not once did i look away when he looked at me looking at him. fuck it, i thought, what do i have to lose? he smiled. i smiled. he moved off the dance floor. he brushed up against me. i said, hey how's it going. he came back. i got the digits. bleck. i guess it was more about knowing that i could get them, rather than actually wanting them. does that make me a horrible person?

i guess i wanted more. the physical is fine, but i want everything else first. dumb/crazy as that sounds, i want the connection, not the attraction. yes, both are the desired end result. but if i had to choose between the two i'd pick the connection every time. i mean, honestly, how often do you find someone that you just fit with? that you connect with? that you can just open up to, never thinking twice about anything and everything you just spent the past hour sharing? that's what i want. that's what matters to me. as simple and as naive as it may sound, that's what i want. that to me is rare. yes, the physical attraction is around every corner everything else is still an elusive creature i'm forever trying to net. that i'll spend forever trying to net.