about last night

saw a midget climbing a telephone pole. thought to myself, "am i still dunk from last night?" the taco bell lady said i'm looking skinny. the lady who cuts my hair said i'm looking tan. i love the jeans i'm wearing today. last night. hott boys in pink polos who look like they just fell out of an A&F quarterly. my shirt was melon. his was pink. that's what he told me when i flirted with him. we talked in the bathroom. that's where i have my best conversations i guess. you know where the evening is headed when i walk into the bathroom to drunk dial you. well, he does. tipped the bartender when he showed us his abs. nikki was checking out his butt. he was perfection. it's nice to have the bar ban lifted. watched him dance and sing for us. offered him more money to pull a coyote ugly and dance on the bar. he passed. he wanted to keep his job. he gave me an olive. nikki wanted a cherry. cherry jizz on a new white shirt kinda sucks. how she did it i'll never know. i just looked down and saw my arm splattered with it. bitch. playing songs on the juke box for boys who are a million miles away. another five dollar juke box kind of night. made our appearance at the other bar. danced on our platform. we're the life of the party. we're rockstars. we need to be on the new simple life, fuck those other two. discussed getting bartending jobs together. not sure if that would be the best environment for me, however. but we would have fun together. told her to stop grabbing my crotch. what is it about girls and my crotch? i mean really. came home and passed out with my nomad. a perfect evening. just what i needed to shake me from my funk.