just what i needed

so i pick nikki up after the arm twisting that took place earlier in the evening. i wasn't feeling like going to the party. she didn't care either way since they were my friends. asked if we could do the pub thing first and then see where the night took us. she was down for that. so we hit a sister version of our favorite pub. what the hell? how dare they use that name. this bar sucked on so many levels. i'm an ohio boy so i don't have much of a frame of reference, but i know when i'm in a hole. this place made our normal breeder bars look wicked gay. but whatever, it had beer.

me: this music has got to go.
nikki: get to the juke box like now.

jimmy buffet? john mellencamp? what version of the hellmouth did we stumble into? oh dude, lemme just say that sleeveless t and your jeans hiked up to your armpits? that look was fierce. good thing i changed my outfit at the last minute or we would have matched.

so after nikki talks me out of playing five dollars on the old juke box i plopped in two. my playlist you ask?

no doubt - "new"
third eye blind - "forget myself"
lit - "ziploc"
john mayer - "split screen sadness"

nikki played some usher and beyonce and one other song. so we look around for an open booth. nope. we settle for a table. a table located directly next to the "bachelorette party from hell". honey? someone's marrying you? no really? these bitches were loud, and drunk, and i think one might have been a man. not sure. the bride to be spoke of fucking other guys and how trashed she was. she was the definition of classy, lemme tell ya. they sang loud. they sang off key. they danced. wow.

me: well i think we know who's to blame for this shit we're listening to.
nikki: is this your song yet?
me: do you think this is my song? did we come here on a tractor?
nikki: i hate sitting next to this mirror cause i keep wanting to check myself out in it.
me: (laughing) you're wasted.

so a booth finally opened up. i kind of pushed our waitress out of the way as she brought us our latest round to get to the booth before the other couple who had been eyeing it did. i won. so it was official, we were both feeling our drinks.

me: i'm buzzed. i think we're here for a bit.
nikki: this music has to stop.
me: forreal. i hope these bitches die or leave soon.
nikki: my bra itches. oh wait! i'm not wearing one.
me: oh my cock. you are too cute.

as the herd of cattle that was the bachelorette party made it's way to the door my first song came on.

me: nice. bitches are gone, and my song is on.
nikki: yay! (burp)

nikki's phone rings. it's the guy that she met at the bar last week. he's called her close to thirty-five times in one week, usually between two and five in the morning. she's annoyed, i decided to have some fun. i am a brat after all.

nikki: hello?
me: who's that!
nikki: out at a bar.
me: baby, who you talkin to?
nikki: what am i drinking???
me: (caught up in my juke box selection)
nikki: the last time you called me you thought my name was amanda.
me: what a loser!
nikki: yes, i have a boyfriend. i am with him right now.
me: i will kick your ass!
nikki: did you hear him? hello? hello... he hung up on me.
me: you're welcome.
nikki: thanks.

my phone rings...

best friend: hi. i'm drunk!
me: me too! we're too drunk to go anywhere.
bf: where are you?
me: at the pub.
bf: we are passing you right now! hi! i am waving.
me: we were hoping you were at the party.
bf: nope.
me: we were hoping you could tell us who was there before we made our decision.
bf: i'm making him turn around, we are coming to you.
me: sweet. this is the world's tiniest bar, you will have no trouble finding our drunk asses.

we drank something called a purple popsicle. it lived up to it's name. it's the kind or drink that can get you good and fucked up because of it's taste. the best friend and her boy came in. had a round with us. and then we find our way to the party. we followed them and listened to a little third eye blind. it was a little theme night. i called the best friend and played the song for her. left it on the voicemail. we get there, nikki of course has to pee. again.

nikki: walk faster, i have to pee.
me: bitch i don't know what you're talking about. you just peed before we left the bar. i haven't gone yet, i get to go first.
nikki: eeek! i gotta pee.

the best friend decides that this is the perfect time for us to stop for a picture. she can't get the flash to work, nikki is dying. so we run to the house. i introduce nikki to everyone and ask where the restroom is. we head there and i let nikki go first. of course i turn around. of course he is there. of course he smiles and walks up to me. of course. it's been a couple months so why wouldn't he pop back into my life. what-ev-er.

B: hey, how you doin'?
me: good. how are you?
B: better.
me: good. still moving to cali?
B: yeah, eventually. come with us.
me: can't i'm still moving to boston.
B: oh that's right. when?
me: end of summer? i leave in like twenty-five days for a visit.
B: really?
me: yeah.
B: alone? that's so cool.
me: yeah. i mean i have a friend out there that i'm gonna visit. plus josh is there.
B: oh, dude i'll go with you! i love boston.
me: um, we have a bunch of stuff planned. but thanks.
D: hey J.
me: hey man. how are you?
D: good. you look really good.
me: um, thanks.
D: no, you really do. like happy, you look really happy.
me: well i'm drunk so that's probably it.

so it's my turn to pee. i come out to find nikki laying on the floor in the hallway almost asleep. i get her up and we move to the main room. we talk about music. paulie invites us down to see his new house. there's talk of a summer party there. i tell the best friend about the boston trip. B asks anyone if they want a beer. i do, of course. he leaves and comes back like five minutes later with just a beer for him.

B: (to the dog) wanna beer?
me: um B, let's concentrate on getting me a beer first before we worry about the dog. sound good?
B: d'oh.
me: (turning to the best friend) i love me.
bf: (laughing) i do too.
me: does the cuff watch and cuff bracelet make me look like wonder woman?
bf: no! it makes you look coordinated.
me: oh, good. i always think that when i wear them, but i still love wearing them.
bf: oh! i have voicemail!
me: it's from me.
bf: (listening to it) it's from you! aww, "motorcycle drive by".
B: (back in the room) "motorcycle drive by" what? (looking at me)

so the party winds down. nikki wants to go home. B wants to go dancing. he gets two people to go with him. nikki and i find the best friend laying in the driveway sick.

bf: i needed some air.
me: so did we. you okay?
bf: everything is spinning. i love you.
me: oh lord, you're gonna vomit.

B pouts because i say i'm taking nikki home. he runs into the house. i feel bad. i tell nikki i'm gonna drop her off and then meet up with him so he doesn't feel like a third wheel. she says that she'll go along and dance. so i call B inside and tell him we're in. seconds later he's running to meet us at my car. we end up downtown. i run into a friend from high school while nikki and i head to the bar. we meet up with B and the others inside. he buys us a round. we move to the packed dance floor. nikki and i find our ledge we always dance on.

me: this is throwing me off. i'm used to dancing for like five people. this large crowd is a lot of pressure.
nikki: i know. this kind of sucks.
me: i just hope my drunk ass doesn't fall off the edge.

so we dance. the others wander off to the bar. we get paulie and persuade him to dance with us. we even got him up on our ledge. nikki and i are dancing, paul's just kind of standing there looking around.

me: (to nikki) please do me a favor.
nikki: sure.
me: i swear i'm not trying to whore you out, but please dance with paulie too. i feel bad. no one dances with him and B always makes him feel like shit for it.
nikki: aww, okay.
nikki: (to paulie) do you have a girlfriend?
paul: nope.
nikki: okay, do you care if i dance with you too?
paul: ahh, okay.

so we do our little three way grind type thing. and as a little old school bon jovi began to play as we danced the only thought on my mind was: i know someone's brother would be sooo happy right now.

little nikki decides that i have far less attitude than she does. so she challenges me to an attitude dance off. hat pulled down, sleeves pushed up, doin my thang. whatever bitch, i so won. i'm a fag. the attitude is innate with my people. paulie leaves us. we dance for the next couple of hours. B keeps coming around with the beers. nice. nikki unbuttons a couple of my shirt buttons. i touch a boob. whatever. typical night out. we decide to call it a night. somehow lose B. we wait outside on the sidewalk for him. at this point i'm the only thing holding nikki up. the others come out and tell us they'll get B home. we say goodbye and head to my car. i walk off to the bushes to pee as nikki gets in. yes, i'm that ghetto. peed by a car of people, didn't realize it at the time. oh well. get back to the car. nikki's head is in some bushes puking.

me: oh, sweetie, are you okay?
nikki: yeah, i'm fine now. i just need to sleep.
me: okay, get in. just please don't puke in my car.
nikki: i promise not to grab your cock tonight.
me: hey thanks, you're a pal.

and with that we head home. i had such a great time. i'm glad i didn't just stay home and sulk on the couch. seeing HIM was okay. seeing HIM was actually fun. who knew? i guess when you don't allow someone to get to you anymore it's easier to expose yourself to them. why let yourself get hurt over someone you care so much about? over someone who cares so little for you. someone who looks out for himself first and gives you a call when his night is winding down. or when he's exhausted every other possibility. always waiting for a call. always mad at yourself when it doesn't come because you knew it never would. when falling asleep with your cell phone in your hand while waiting for a call goes from cute to pathetic, you know it's time to move on. if you take the little effort for exactly what it is, very little effort, then things are much easier on your heart. and dancing on a ledge with a great friend is a better way to spend an evening anyway, every time.