left behind

"i plan to take every moment that you are, and hang them on the wall. i can't explain what you did for me, but i can frame them all. and when i say goodnight i'll find you there. i'll smile through the blue for you, even though it's hard to stay awake some days. i smile sometimes through the blue for you, even though i know you're a million miles away." -e&j


i'm not sure what's going on with some people in my life. each day i can feel them slipping further away. i open my mouth to call out after them, but no sound comes out. i sit. i stare. i play with the buttons on my nomad. then i begin to wonder how one month can pass by so quickly, yet somehow hold a lifetime worth of memories. painful reminders of the days before that month, and even worse, the days that follow it. a priority becomes an effort. you never really saw the shift come, or take place for that matter. but you blinked and it did. life moves on. things change. people change. they tell you to suck it up, keep up or be left behind. it's harder for you to keep up with their pace, forever down on your knees picking up the shattered remnants of your pathetic heart. you get up, brush yourself off, look around and realize that once again you got left behind in the wake that is the past. you swear you never make a conscience effort to live there. it's just that you can never seem to tell when others want to make the present the past. they move on and you're left trying to figure out why the right now suddenly is no longer good enough. when the right now suddenly became no longer good enough. forever alone in the wake.