where to begin?

her: who are you talking to?
me: jonathan.
her: oooh, that's my favorite name for a guy.  what's his last name?
me: why?
her: is he cute?
me: yes.
her: what's his middle name?
me: why?
her: i might want to date him.
me: he's gay, and you have a boyfriend.
her: oh.
me: and so am i.
her: ha ha.
me: i'm serious.
her: you?
me: yes. 
her: really?
me: you're telling me you had no idea?
her: not at all.
me: sweetie, we played my little ponies at recess together in grade school.  i mean come on.
her: huh, well that's cool.  anyway...

our night began innocently enough with dinner.  the plan was to see a movie.  we ended up dropping $70 on food and drinks.  lots of drinks.  i was close to being drunk when we left the restaurant, dropped off her car, and headed for the bar across the street. we played close to $15 worth of songs. my songs were better than the skid row junk she was playing, but whatever. we drank a lot more. realized that we missed yet another movie time, and gave up on the idea all together. at one point, while sitting at the bar, we were both texting and talking on our phones. i said, "you know what. i bet everyone in here thinks we're on the worst first date ever." she laughed, and we joked about that for the rest of the night. called ms. k to see if she wanted to me up with us.

me: where are you?
ms. k: coming back from chili's
me: we were just there.
ms. k: really, when?
me: two hours ago. we sat in the bar.
ms. k: so did we!
me: in the little booth in the back left corner.
ms. k: so did we!
me: that's crazy.

she and her boyfriend met up with us. they joined us in a booth for eight people. that made it look less sad with just the two of us taking up the whole booth. i have no idea what we talked about because at this point i was gone. i don't even remember when they left. somehow we ended up back at her place. she packed a bag, and broke up with her boyfriend. she was drunk and crying and screaming at him. somehow we wound up at stake & shake for milkshakes. flirted with this hott hott boy how was sitting alone next to us. he was a server at another restaurant and invited us to come see him and he'd hook us up. i couldn't stop staring at his beauty. we later found ourselves at a hotel. i picked some flowers for her. i have no idea how we managed to find our room. i dropped a towel in the toilet after washing my hands with it. i yelled for help, she told me to just throw it in the shower. i called dood again for the thirtieth time. he got to witness her breakdown first hand as she screamed at her boyfriend in the background. i was hiding under the covers leaving him a voicemail. we both passed out drunk in our clothes. i woke up feeling like a rockstar. we fell asleep around five. my sister and mother both called me at nine to make sure i wouldn't be late meeting them for mother's day lunch. i made it. hung over and feeling like ass, but i made it. then we ate and i couldn't figure out why i wasn't hungry at all. remembered the stop at stake & shake, then i knew why. left there saw mel and her family on our way out. made plans to meet up next week. spent the rest of the day feeling like i was gonna die while we shopped. bought my mom a cell phone for mother's day. i'm jealous, she has MY slider phone. something is wrong with that. came home, and now all i want to do is go to bed at 5pm on sunday night. sad. that was the perfect way to end a really shitty week. laughing and getting drunk with someone who knew you when you were five is the best way to help you feel better about the bumps and bruises that come with being an adult.