left moving

the words come. or they don't. feeling a certain way, once upon a time. or maybe not. you have no idea if you know anymore. maybe that one day wasn't a nightmare you found yourself in, ever impossible to wake from. maybe all the other days were one long dream that you never realized you were even in. maybe that's for the best. now comes sleep. the pain in the stomach is gone. as is doubt, worry, second-guessing, feeling inferior. so much to change, do, be, become. maybe it was all too much. never being able to live up to an ever growing list of demands. never really knowing which side they were coming from. and why does there even have to be a side? why can't a mistake simply just be, without blame being sought. now, as always, it's how it is, not what you want, but you always had very little say in that matter. change. deal. move on, or be left behind.