[today's PSA]

hi. can we talk? yes, i'm looking at you. okay, see that piece of paper that you have in your hand there. no, your other hand. that one's empty. do you see how that piece of paper looks like it's been folded up like an accordion? oh, you got hot did ya? needed a lil' fan. that's cute. anyway, that piece of paper... well, you see, feeding it through the top loader on a copier will only do one thing. it will force you to say goodbye to that piece of paper forever. you don't want that do you? didn't think so. no it wasn't a trap that i set in an effort to rip your paper into three more manageable pieces. next time why don't we, just for fun, lift the top and put it on the glass. sound good?

when your paper disappears, do not look at me and shrug. i warned you. i will not help you stick your ugly little face into the copier while you call out to your missing piece of paper. i will be laughing at you as i walk away. as i walk away. sorry, that was a lil' weezer for ya.

and just for future reference, if your piece of paper is the size of a postage stamp, the top loader is your enemy.

that's all. thanks for your time. have a great day.