[smelly cat]

me: it's so loud i can't hear a word you're saying.
D: and i can smell someone's pussy!
me: [choking]

D: um, i believe...
me: the children are our future?
D: no.
me: teach them well, and let them lead the way?
D: shut up.
me: show them all the beauty they possess inside?
D: stop!
me: give them a sense of pride?
D: no.
me: oh, then what?
D: i forget now.

D: did you smell that?
me: yeah.
D: i wanted to die.
me: i thought it was you.
D: oh thanks.
me: so i walked away.
D: nice.
me: but when i got by him i realized it was his fart.
D: not mine.
me: i thought i was gonna vomit.
D: i can't believe you thought it was me!
me: well it's not like you haven't farted around me before.