[i love working with insane people]

her: i like these shoes. (looking at my urban outfitters catalog)
me: nice. (not looking up)
her: that's why i think i might be a lesbian.
me: come again? (now looking up)
her: well ellen was saying that she buys shoes all the time and only wears them once, i do that.
me: so.
her: and that even if the shoes aren't the right size, if she likes them, she'll buy them.
me: yeah.
her: well i do that too, that's why i thought i might be a lesbian.
me: well that is the number one thing on the list that tells you you might be a lesbian.
her: really?!!?
me: um, no.
her: oh.
me: do you have sex with other women?
her: no.
me: do you want to?
her: no.
me: then i think it's more about the shoes.