[cheers, darlin']

i guess waking up in my own vomit on the first day of this year should have given me an indication of the year that was waiting ahead. there are a lot of things i’d like to forget, and some i’ll do my best to prevent the alcohol related brain destruction from erasing. i spent the year getting to know three amazing people who were strangers to me this time last year. bloggers of course. one i had been reading for close to a year(jen), one a couple months(kia), and one was quietly reading mine(rach). other people came and went along the way, most of them really aren’t worth even remembering to be honest.

i found damien rice in january. i saw matt nathanson for the third time, at his best show, this fall. i fell in love with my nomad, and wondered how i made it through any day without an mp3 player before. felicity junior year and popular season 1 both came out on dvd this year. nikki and i got our favorite, hot, bartender to flash us his abs. soon after nikki was the star of the wedding we attended in july. i got lost in DC and saw dupont circle close to 100 times. i met kia and keara and will never forget that. especially when kia waved to her fans through the glass of the elevator as we rode it up to dave & buster’s. now that i think about that night keara going out dressed up as me was pretty funny too. i ended things with the boy. that was best for us both even if i second-guess myself at least once a day. i fell in love with LOST. found two new addictions in garden state and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. my uncle passed away, and with that a big part of my aunt died with him. G became a bigger part of my life again, five years ago i never thought i’d type a sentence like that. rach made me smile when i didn’t think it was possible to ever do that again. jen made me dream of being a better writer, and gush with each new word she wrote. kia gave and gave, more than i ever deserved. saying thank you to her seems like an empty gesture when i think about all we’ve been through over the last year.

i guess all the bad from the year helped me see how lucky i am to have such amazing friends. when i couldn’t even think straight kia and G were there to talk me off my ledge. ms. b & ms. k were there just like always, making me laugh, making me happy. making me feel as if I belonged to another family, not just the one i was born into. and i guess when it comes down to it, i am a very lucky boy.

the first email rach ever sent me caught me completely off guard, made me smile, and made me feel a little less alone when i was feeling sorry for myself. now that the year is winding down, i find myself smiling once again thanks to her words:

"i hope spending time with your family was all that it could be, and i hope that you see all your good friends soon, and you see in the new year with a smile on your face, as the clock ticks down. ten seconds to go, i want you to just breathe. a new year is on it's way. new possibilities. 365 new days for you to live. to do whatever the hell you want to do. all with your very own self programmed soundtrack (thanks to the nomad). it's going to be a good one. and like i said in the very beginning, J...

things are going to be okay."

thank you rach. here’s hoping 2005 will be a good year for everyone.