[fragile]

fragile. the drip of an iv. the feel of a needle as it pricks your skin. the slow steady cool. life. time. moments slow and quick. the ones you want to forget seem to linger, while your favorite ones fall quickly through your hands. too young to feel so old. you're too young to be in this place, is all they ever say. you feel too healthy to believe you're really sick. you smile, you nod, you pretend to understand what's going on. the moment seems to be making sounds as it goes rushing past you. you can't move, but you can feel everything else passing by as you sit there trying to comprehend. comprehend what he's saying to you. his words become foreign to you. the diagrams look more like intricate, impossible, puzzles rather than actual pieces of yourself. no, you feel fine. no, you don't get tired. no, you don't know when or how or why any of this started. he's talking and motioning yet all your mind can do is jump ahead. jump to the end. not focusing. not hearing. he's lost you. you're one year from now, away from him, away from this moment. and you're wondering if it's true. you're wondering if you really will see a day when you're not living with this. living like this. just living.