then away i crawl

i love my witty moments. when i say, i'm in. it will do absolutely nothing for me, but i'm in. and you smile. your smile that could somehow make a blind person weak in the knees. then you touch my arm. your laugh makes me laugh. and then i remember a thousand moments all at once. you get me, and you get to me, unlike anyone else. even when i didn't want you to. even when i lied and said you didn't know me at all.

boys at war, the best and worst of 1984.

you don't have any idea what it's like to not be you. seeing you from across the room. what it's like to just be around you. what it's like to know you. to have you in one's life for so long. over twenty years. you're hard to run from. a one man cheering section. i hate how you pretend i'm more talented than i truly am, but i love you for it all the same. i love how you instinctively know that special by garbage is a must play on the juke box no matter where we are.

i hate how life is far too much like an episode of my so-called life or felicity. how the people that are meant to be together sadly aren't. how a heart can be broken by a simple thing such as seeing a hand hold another. another that isn't yours. the same circle kept us bumping into one another when that was the last thing i wanted.

i know it's a waste of time to canonize you, when you're nothing more than just a boy. a boy who breaks your heart and makes your day all in the same breath. and at the end of the day, no matter how many times i quit you or start you, no matter what version of us we're on, you will simply always be you. the boy who was my first friend. the boy who was my first love.

we work how we work. it might not necessarily be the way that i wanted us to, but the fact that we do is something that i should stop taking for granted.

your love means everything, part 2 . faultline ft. chris martin