sixteen years ago

i remember summer, 1989. i was fourteen then. our neighbors had just moved, their vacant house sat there for sale. my sister and i spent most of the previous summer days off from school at their house, playing with their three kids. that summer was a lot more quiet than the others, an empty house, an empty yard. i had my huge grey boom box, my first real stereo ever. it's funny to think back to me carrying that thing everywhere i went, now that i have my tiny little nomad. but i did, and i always had a blank tape in the deck, forever ready to tape any new song i was searching for on the radio. that's' how it was done before mp3s, and cassette singles really. it never failed, the djs would always ruin the beginning or the end of every song you were trying to tape. but i had the song to listen to whenever i wanted to, and that was the point. this particular summer i was obsessed with glenn medeiros' "nothing's gonna change my love for you." i managed to tape it at some point and i guess that's when it became my anthem for that summer. shortly after breakfast i would grab my book, the notebook i was writing in, and my large radio and head over to the neighbor's house. they left an old fold-out lawn chair behind, the plastic vinyl kind that had three sections to it. i'd find my prime spot in the sun, lay back and listen to that song over and over. being there, alone, in the quite yard i could pretend that i was rich and was spending my summer at my vacation home by the pool. there i sat, soaking up the sun, dreaming of stephanie g. and the fabulous life we'd have together. i even called the radio station once or twice and dedicated that song to her. apparently my day dreams of having my own four bedroom home at fourteen also included me being straight.