10.18

today's your birthday. i'm here, you're there, and the space between is enough to kill. i guess it makes sense that you've been on my mind so much lately. i hope you're well. i hope you've found happiness. normal. calm. and i hope your friends are forcing you to celebrate, because i know how much you hate this day. i hate feeling like nicole kidman in cold mountain when she's thinking about jude law and begging him, across the miles, to "return to me". but i do, even though i know it's impossibly hopeless that you will. happy birthday you.