another D classic

me: she was telling me how she can't watch ellen any more.
D: why? because she's a lesbian?
me: yeah, she said she used to like her but now she can't stand her.
D: she's still the same funny person she always was, who cares who she sleeps with.
me: maybe she's afraid that watching ellen's show will turn her into a lesbian.
D: well that's what happened to me.
me: ha! does your husband know about this?
D: no, i thought i'd tell my homophobic religious daughter first.

D: (looking at a picture of ryan reynolds) is he from four guys and a pizza?
me: what?!?
D: that's not what it's called is it?
me: that sounds like the name of a porno.
D: what did i mean?
me: two guys, a girl and a pizza place?
D: oh yeah, right.