[mary cherry update]

rumor has it this is also coming out on march 8th.
nice.

[ms. porter]

first i heard about this and it made me happy to see my felicity finally working again.

then i saw a two second blip of this on tv and i swore i saw her in it.

sure enough:


then i read that on march 8th the BEST season of the four will be mine to own:


and i'm still holding my breath for her "very special guest appearance" on alias.
it could happen.

[what's so golden about it?]

met jules for our monthly lunch & a movie. thankfully we got there in time to see in good company and managed to avoid hide and seek. in good company was excellent. touching, funny, and it had topher. his huge eyes, that face, his twitchiness. sigh, i’m such a little girl. i want to run to the drug store and buy every teen magazine i can find and then plaster my walls with pictures of topher. it’s sad really. both jules and i said that we could relate to the character topher played. she sympathized with being in the situation of coming into a job and replacing someone, and then having to turn around and slowly fire everyone that worked under her. and i just connected with his sense of being lost. how at 26 he was in a place where he just existed and didn’t really live. he wasn’t sure how he got to where he was, or why he was even there. he wasn’t happy, but he didn’t know what he wanted to do or how to even be happy.

when i was twenty i thought that i had plenty of time to screw around and just live for the moment instead of thinking long-term. the closer i get to thirty the more i realize that i’m in so many of the same situations i was in ten years ago. the only thing that has changed in all that time is my age. i feel like i want to do something different, but i’m not really even sure where to start. you can only put things off for so long before you eventually run out of time. and that's really been freaking me out lately.

after the movie jules picked the golden corral for “lunch”. my body is still recovering from the shock that was brought on by the whole experience. we walked in and the place was packed, 3pm on a sunday and it was packed. the lady at the front hurried us through her line and raped our wallets of $22. as we stood there in shock, trying to comprehend how everything worked, a man came over and rushed us to a tiny table in the back corner. we fought our way through the large crowd of people and made our way to the salad bar. i’ve never seen so much food just soaking in various forms of grease and oil. i informed jules that there was no way i could ever eat $11 worth of buffet food. we wondered how anyone could, but as she pointed out we were the only two there not wearing sweat pants. these people weren’t messing around about getting full. to say the place was ghetto is a disgrace to the word ghetto. as we sat there picking off of our plates everyone else around us kept jumping up to go back a third and fourth time. after the salad i settled on a piece of pizza and made my own chili cheese fries. jules pointed out that i ordered fries when we went to the amusement park in the fall. i told her i never really even eat them so it must be something that i feel the need to have whenever she’s around. she excused herself and made her way to the restroom. i sat there and wondered if i’d ever see her again or if she’d be gobbled up by the starving masses. she finally made it back to the table and told me that there was a line just to get into the restroom, and it was so dirty that even if i was dying she wouldn’t recommend going in. i guess these people were serious eaters, if there was a line for the bathroom i’m guess many of these people were camped out there for days. she looked up and said, “there are a lot of really big people here.” i nodded and said, “and i don’t think they were when they first walked in here.” we passed on dessert and decided to call it a day. oh well, at least the movie rocked.

[bar hopping & vomit]

8:30 became 9, which became 10pm. that’s fine, yeah whatever. i picked G up, headed downtown. we hit my favorite pub first. got a choice seat NEXT to the jukebox. score! ryan adams and the killers were stripped from said jukebox. WTF?! my hopes of playing mr. brightside again were thrown out the window. i considered throwing my glass to the ground and stomping out as a form of protest, letting them know i wasn’t down for this tom foolery, but i sucked it up and looked for something else instead. at least they still had garbage. i had two beers. G ordered something strong that would get her messed up. she wound up with a long island, the one drink in the world that she will not drink. so i got stuck with it.

we sat there and talked and laughed, and made friends with our cute server trista. G informed me that she had proof that her boyfriend was cheating on her. she explained that she set up tape recorders throughout the apartment and listened to his conversations with friends talking about sleeping with three other girls. she said that as she was hiding the recorders she became paranoid, worrying that he might have hidden cameras catching her as she was hiding the recorders to catch him. it’s all about the trust. i laughed so hard at her stories. only G would scale a large piece of furniture to hide a listening device in a plant.

G excused herself and walked to the restroom, promising to not leave me stranded for very long. as I sat there alone for at least five minutes i kept looking at my watch and looking at the door wondering if she passed out in there, or maybe somehow stumbled upon a black hole or something. i finally saw her walking back to the table with three cuter girls that appeared to be lifelong friends of hers. only G could make friends in the bathroom.

she approached our table and introduced me to the girls she met. it was the one girl’s 21st birthday and she of course invited them back to our table to do birthday shots with us. i don’t remember what any of their names were, but they were all very nice. the birthday girl stood next to me and talked while G attempted to pour the shots. earlier she ordered a large pitcher of shots to drink all on her own. she dropped the strainer on the floor and then attempted to use it anyway. i suggested that she might want to get a clean one from the bar. the birthday girl’s phone rang and she looked at it.

“oh, it’s my twin sister. she’s at another bar. it’s her birthday today too!” she said.
“get out! it’s your TWIN sister’s birthday too?” i said, ever the smartass.

she nodded. she was too cute.

we said our goodbyes to the girls and decided to check out the new bar that opened down the street. the mysterious mango that nikki and i heard about a few weeks earlier. as we walked to my car i asked G if she wanted to stop at ter-ez first, the gay bar across the street. she said sure, so we put mango on hold and walked over. as we approached the bar a man was walking up the sidewalk towards us. he turned over his shoulder and watched us as he walked past the door and we were opening it.

“you’re gonna want to be careful going in there.” he announced.
we shrugged.
“here, let me help.” he said holding the door for us. he wasn’t even going into the bar and now suddenly he was behind me breathing on my neck, shoving his junk into my butt. that sketch alone should have been enough to send us running from the bar, but we forged ahead.

a drag queen was performing a whitney houston song, now that i think about it, it could have very well been whitney houston herself. i mean it’s not like she’s doing anything else these days. anyway, for some strange reason the stage was right next to the door, and the spotlight was on us as we walked in. there were like 6 or 7 men (in their early sixties) sitting at the bar, watching the performance, and then watching us as we stood there, in the spotlight. the creepy guy hurried past us and sat down, and joined in on the staring of us. i looked at G, she looked at me, and i said, “let’s go.” we slowly backed out of the bar and laughed our way back to my car.

we parked behind mango and walked around the block to the main door. i couldn’t believe my eyes as we walked in and saw two little thugs in black coats and knit caps working the door. we wondered if the place was even really open or if these two guys were just taking people’s money. it looked like a construction site. there was wood everywhere and plastic tarps hanging from the ceiling. i smelled something funny and looked around to discover a small space heater glowing in the corner. nice. there were two coats sitting on a stack of wood with a tiny hand written sign that said “coat check.” when G asked if they had a coat check they looked at each other and shrugged, telling us ”not really.” so she thought it was best to just hang onto her coat. after G complained about the lack of the coat check, plus paying a cover, they gave her a vip pass to get in for free another time. as we climbed three flights of stairs all i could think of was the red orange glow from the space heather below us that was so close to all the lumber. i wondered how we’d make it out of mango alive when the place inevitably went up in flames. we found two seats at the bar, and i found my very own vip pass sitting there waiting for me.

surprisingly enough G made friends with the cute little bartender that was serving us. megan. she complained about the lack of coat check so her new friend took her coat and put in behind the bar for her. when G ordered a shot her pal megan insisted on doing one with her. she gave me a hard time for passing and sticking with my beer.

“i’m all hot for your girl, how does that make you feel?” megan asked as they did their second shot.
“i like boys, so it's fine.” i informed her.

“i like your girl, but i’m keeping my eye on you.” she later told us.

she was impressed by G‘s ability to do shot after shot and informed me that she was going to steal my girlfriend from me.

“i like cock!” i explained but she still wasn’t buying it.

as we were leaving G decided to close out her tab. it was $1.25 for my beer and her numerous shots. i guess the exchange rate is different in mango-land. so G tipped her like $10.

megan smiled and told G, “i hope you and your boyfriend have a nice night.”
“i’m GAY!” i yelled. she just smiled and nodded.

after mango we decided to head up the street to the other gay bar that i actually knew of. metro, formerly known as babylon, about to become babylon again. i guess the name change drove the people away? we walked in the door and G looked at the cutie behind the bar and screamed as he screamed back at her. i looked around and wondered if this was the mandatory way that people entered this bar. this time G didn’t have to become friends with are bartender, she already knew him. she introduced me to her friend josh and he told her her drinks were on him. i feared what would later come up if she put any more alcohol into her system. she pounded about four drinks in the hour that we were there. i had beer and then switched to water. we sat and talked to him for a bit, he was really nice and funny. the fact that he was adorable didn’t hurt either. as a song by the killers came on i got excited. here it was, my chance to hear mr. brightside. since there were only like 5 of us in the bar i figured the dj wouldn’t mind playing two songs by the same band back to back. i hopped off my stool and told G i would be right back, i had to go see about a song. i asked for mr. brightside, and of course all they had was the 1 killers song. blasted! my hopes were dashed again.

josh asked G if i was her boyfriend. she told him that we were just good friends. this set the stage for the story about mango megan. josh laughed as he a G did another shot.

“why doesn’t anyone ever believe that i’m gay?” i asked.
“i believe your gay.” he assured me.

i thanked him, and asked for directions to the bathroom.

“okay, see the pride flag on the back wall?”
“yeah”
“see the door next to it?”
“yep.”
“don’t go to that door, that’s the fire exit.”
“um okay.”
“it’s the door beside that one.”
“that one?” I asked.
“no, that’s the girl's one.”
“oh.”
“it’s the only other door, you’ll see it.”

G was trying to play matchmaker while i was away, she later informed me. as i sat back down i looked over and saw this fifty year old man with a handlebar moustache and a western shirt handing G a piece of paper. apparently he wrote her a little note and gave her his number as well. as he got up to leave her told G that he hoped to hear from her. he then patted me twice on the back and told me to “take er easy.” i smiled and promised to do just that. josh looked at me and shook his head as we laughed. i told G that i was jealous cause she gets all the hot guys.

we closed down the bar and made plans to meet up with josh for some pasta at luigi’s. when we made it to the restaurant we discovered it was closed. G insisted they were open until 4, but sadly they closed at 2. so she called josh to tell him pasta was off and that she’d just see him another time. G then wanted breakfast. we stopped at the diner down the street and she ran to the bathroom fearing that she was gonna loose all the free drinks she sucked down throughout the night.

once again i found myself standing against a wall waiting for G to reappear from a restroom. a guy across from me was sitting on a bench. he dropped his newspaper and almost fell off the bench himself in an effort to grab it. attempting to regain his composure he looked around to see if anyone noticed and smiled at me as i was trying not to laugh.

G came speed walking out of the back and told me that we had to go because she was sick. so we headed home. i had the pleasure of stopping every five minutes in random parking lots so she could hang her body out the car door and vomit. the louder she got louder the music on the radio got, in an effort to drown her out. at one point, after yelling at me to stop, while on the expressway we drove off and i realized her door wasn’t shut. she passed out at this point so i couldn't get her to close the door. as we drove off i wondered if i took a corner too fast if she'd go flying out the door. after we finally made it to her place, and i walked up the three flights of stairs to her door i said good night and ran back to my car. the trail of puke smeared across my passenger window was a nice way to end the night.

i came home, crawled into bed, grabbed the nomad, and listened to a little mr. brightside.

[fragile]

fragile. the drip of an iv. the feel of a needle as it pricks your skin. the slow steady cool. life. time. moments slow and quick. the ones you want to forget seem to linger, while your favorite ones fall quickly through your hands. too young to feel so old. you're too young to be in this place, is all they ever say. you feel too healthy to believe you're really sick. you smile, you nod, you pretend to understand what's going on. the moment seems to be making sounds as it goes rushing past you. you can't move, but you can feel everything else passing by as you sit there trying to comprehend. comprehend what he's saying to you. his words become foreign to you. the diagrams look more like intricate, impossible, puzzles rather than actual pieces of yourself. no, you feel fine. no, you don't get tired. no, you don't know when or how or why any of this started. he's talking and motioning yet all your mind can do is jump ahead. jump to the end. not focusing. not hearing. he's lost you. you're one year from now, away from him, away from this moment. and you're wondering if it's true. you're wondering if you really will see a day when you're not living with this. living like this. just living.

[fragments]

why are people incapable of making left hand turns without crossing over onto my side of the road?

why do people insist on crawling through a turning arrow, guaranteeing that at best two cars will make the light?

i guess these are questions without answers, much like why ashlee simpson still has a career.

i attempted to buy some deodorant today. as the cashier at target picked it up to scan it, the cap fell off. "um, did you know the cap was loose on this?" she asked. "no, no i did not." i smiled. "um, yeah, and it looks like someone used it already!" she said pointing to the dark hair from some sketched out nasty person's armpit. i mean come on! how hard up are you that you have to go to target and STEAL A SWIPE OF DEODORANT? she then informed me that it happens all the time. that people are truly disgusting. and that she wouldn't recommend that i take it. i thanked her for being so observant and went to the parking lot to vomit.

perhaps the same crazy lady who was violently shaking the closed gate to the pharmacy (they were on their half-hour lunch break) was the deodorant bandit. i gave her a look and just shook my head at her as she announced, "maybe that will get someone's attention." i wanted to ask her if that was how she got attention when she was locked in her cage at home, but since she outweighed me buy at least two hundred pounds i thought it was in my best interest to keep my mouth zipped.

the freaks were out in full force today.

i tried my best to get into the da vinci code after hearing EVERYone gush about how great it was. i just couldn't get into it, so i put it down. then when news broke that tom hanks was set to star in the film adaptation it made me want to read it that much less. but after ms. b told me that she couldn't put it down and read it in two days, i decided to give it another crack. it's getting better now that i'm over one hundred pages into it, so we'll see. picturing tom hanks delivering the lines that i'm reading however makes me want to drive back to that target parking lot and vomit again.

ten to twelve inches of snow is set to hit here within the next few hours. that should make for an interesting weekend. i do have my book and three seasons of felicity on dvd to get me through, should i get buried.

currently blowing my mind:
straylight run - existentialism on prom night

[help]

i don't know how or when it happened, but i've become one of those people who makes lame chit-chat about the weather. it hit me like a shovel to the head today when i realized i was asking someone if they were enjoying the weather. we got hit with another snowstorm last night. did i chuckle? i think i might have even chuckled a bit as i said it. what am i like 85? i should be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere waiting for the mail to arrive.

i don't make chit-chat. i speak only when it's necessary.

i can't think of anything that i care less about than the weather.

is this what happens the closer you get to 30?

[doorways]

i saw the door open as i was walking away. i looked over my shoulder to see an old man stepping out onto the sidewalk, a step below. he turned and stood there, holding the door open. out walked the cutest little old woman. she was wrapped up in her coat, a tiny flower pinned to her lapel. as he stood there waving to the people in the diner they were leaving, i smiled. the woman steadied herself as she reached out to him with her free hand, a cane in the other. the thought of them leaving the familiar behind and walking off, together, into the unknown came to my mind for some reason. it's naive to associate death with old age, youth doesn't guarantee a long life. as she took his hand i thought about their journey, and what it would be like to brave something new, something unfamiliar, armed with only the person you love. the person you share your life with. hand in hand, leaving everything else behind you. but it rarely works out that way. someone is always left behind, staring at a door. waiting for it to open. waiting for a return.

[cos all the cool kids are doing it]

1. what is the total amount of music files on your computer?

1225 songs.

2. the CD you last bought is:

jimmy eat world - futures.
i got a few for christmas, but this is the last one i bought a couple months back.

3. what is the song you last listened to before reading this message?

"breakdown" by handsome boy modeling school featuring jack johnson.
the first time i heard this song i was, "ehh, whatever." then it grew on me and now i love it. i love the beat, i listen to it once a day, and it makes me smile when i drive to work.

4. write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

teitur - "josephine"
it's such a beautiful song. sad and haunting. when i listen to it i can picture a mini movie in my mind. i also associate it with eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, even though it had nothing to do with that movie. it just reminds me of the rain scene with baby joel and cowgirl clementine.

third eye blind - "motorcycle drive by"
yes it's 200 years old, but this song still gets to me. drunken nights with B. arguing if it was a happy song or a sad one. he will forever be wrong, it is in no way a happy song. this song is like a scrapbook of a part of my life i'm so far removed from, but one i think about from time to time.

joshua radin - "winter"
if i could write a song, it would sound like this. word for word. "i should know who i am by now...your name is the splinter inside me." wow.

tori amos - "a sorta fairytale"
the world stops for a few minutes each time i hear this song. the first few notes make me melt. the sadness. the chill vibe it has to it. it makes me think of riding in a car, windows down, sun shining. the warm wind dancing across your face. the places you're going, the people and things you're leaving behind. perfection.

patty griffin - "mother of god"
her voice. her words. the combination of the two and the mental images they stir up break my heart. i associate this song with dawn's mom and how messed up she is. she's broken, but she has one of the biggest hearts in the world. this song could have been written for any one of her kids. this song sings me to sleep every night.

5. who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?

rach- she's become my newest hookup for excellent music. she opened my world up to missy higgins. and because i heart her so. and because i'd like to see what songs she goes with.

kia - because she loves memes. because she loves music. because she loves me, and i her. because she can drop it like it's hot. and i'm secretly hoping she works "top that" from teen witch somewhere in hers.

jen - because she's a music freak like me. and she's a girl with a guitar that sings ryan adams songs. and i think she's all shades of amazing.

*thanks josh

[well i suck]

we went to visit my aunt again today. she's all settled in after her big trip south for the holidays. she and my mom were sitting there talking about people and places from the past. they started talking about my grandfather and one of his first jobs. before becoming the sheriff of the town that my mom and aunt and uncles all grew up in he worked for the railroad. he had seven kids to take care of. he was the only one making any money at the time. and he made twenty-five cents an hour.

sitting there all i could think was, "what the hell is my problem?"

nine people survived on twenty-five cents an hour. the only person i provide for is myself, and sometimes i can barely do that.

[wednesday]

so wednesday night nikki and i finally had the same night open. it's been a long time since we last went out. our plan of seeing a movie was changed the moment she got into my car. "i need a drink, it's been a bad day." so we made our way to the pub. 68 degrees in the middle of januray found us parking downtown and walking to our favorite place without our coats. it was kind of packed for the middle of the week so we made our way to the back of the bar. nikki ordered her beer and i asked for my midori sour.

bartender: just midori and sour?
me: yeah?
bartender: nothing else?
me: um, nope?
bartender: how boring.
me: wow, thanks.
bartender: were you in here last week drinking these?
me: i don't think so.
bartender: oh, well someone was.
me: someone equally as boring i guess.

how do these odd conversations always seem to find their way to me? nikki asked me twenty times what i was drinking. i told her that it was her kind of drink and to try it. she loved it and said she was going to get it the next time she went out. she of course had to ask me every thirty minutes what it was, and then repeat it to herself so she could remember for the next time. i heart her. out of nowhere this homeless person made his way to us and sat on the stool next to nikki. this members only jacket wearing mother fella could not take his eyes off of nikki's purse sitting on the bar. she had her back to him, facing me. so i kept my eye on him watching the purse expecting him to grab it and make a mad dash for the door. it was odd. he just sat there looking at it not ordering anything. he finally struck up a conversation with her, about her purse. he asked her about the designer and how much it cost, and then asked if he could touch it. i wasn't sure if i was dreaming or if we were getting punk'd. we finally decided to leave captain crazy and head over to the other side of the bar, by the jukebox. we couldn't stop laughing. nikki told me, "usually guys hit on me, that was the first time anyone has hit on my purse." so we played our songs on the old jukebox, i could tell it missed us since it had been a while since we were last there. i played ryan adams, as always nikki thought i played bryan adams since she has no idea there is a ryan and not just a bryan. midori sour. then i picked some killers-mr. brightside, garbage, and to round out the cool factor a little avril. what can i say, i'm a sucker for my happy ending. i think a cute guy was attempting to flirt with me. i'm really horrible at reading things. i need it in writing to be sure, notarized and witnessed. i never make the first move, even if interest is there i spend the entire night doubting it to the point where i watch the guy walk out the door. but we walked by this guy and two girls and the guy turned and looked at me as we stopped at the jukebox right next to them. after a few seconds he leaned over and asked if we knew where this other bar was. i of course was too afraid to talk to him so i talked to one of the girls instead, telling her i had no idea. she was smiley and nice and talked while we stood there. then we walked away. i tried the old standby move that never fails and sat at the table behind them, just hidden by the jukebox. so he slowly turned in his seat and sat so he could see his friends and see us at the same time. they seemed to like our songs and laughed and sang along when our selections came on. but like nikki said, "who wouldn't? everyone wants to be us." he was cute and tall, brown hair, and blah blah blah it went nowhere because i was too afraid to make any sort of move. yes i watched them leave, and i think he might have waved but i looked down at my phone pretty quickly to avoid any eye contact. lame. we decided to try and find the bar that they were heading to, but couldn't find it. since it was so warm out we just decided to walk around and look for another bar. none of the places to dance were open, so we just picked a random bar and sat down. by this point i had stopped drinking but nikki was toasted. she kept leaning into me and came close to falling asleep a few times, so we headed home. she of course woke up in time to demand some taco bell. she chowed down in the car and promised that she wouldn't make a mess. even in the dark i could see bits of lettuce flying all over the place. sure enough, when she got out, she left a little taco trail all over my seat and probably all the way inside. maybe she was leaving a trail so the purse freak could find his way to her. who knows.

[tuesday]

made my way to the country club for our holiday party. not really sure what holiday we were celebrating, but happy january 11th to everyone. hope it found everyone well. anyway, i walked in and the room was filled. i of course stood in the doorway for 30 seconds looking for my peeps. 30 seconds that translates to at least 12 minutes when you feel as if you're on display in a museum. i swear i heard a hush fall over the crowd as every eye found its way to me while i was looking for my table. just when i decided to just give up and leave and call lisa from the lobby i spotted liz. so i hauled it to the table and sat down. lisa was as insane as ever. i love to whisper things to her and then have her scream them out to everyone. we're such a good team like that. dinner was dinner. i won a gourmet coffee maker. and then the lushes made their way to the dance floor. the music was so loud and bad, and by bad i mean sung by professional mullet sporters, that we had to scream at the people at our own table just to be heard. at one point i leaned over to lisa and asked, "is janitor evil doing the robot?" she informed me that no, that was just how he danced. everyone was taking pictures so i decided to take some pictures with my phone, not wanting to feel left out. every shot i took of lisa was blurry with lights all around her head. she said it reminded her of the movie white noise. she then yelled to our table that i took her picture and dead people were floating around her head. she asked debbie if she wanted to see it. debbie shook her head and said, "you have pictures of dead people? i don't wanna see that." we laughed pretty hard at how scared she looked. we're mean like that. dennis was drunk as usual but this year he didn't wear his napkin as a loincloth and do a lap dance on me, unfortunately, like he did two years ago. four seriously drunk women asked me to dance. as appealing as their flammable breath invitations were, i declined. i went to the restroom while everyone else made their way to the bar. when i came out D insisted that i join them for one drink. i told her i'd take a midori sour, and the bartender said they could do that. he looked around a bit and then asked the other girl for a flashlight. patrick was laughing at me and said, "you know it's good stuff if they have to use a flashlight to find it because it's buried so far in the back!" i think i saw the bartender wipe some cobwebs from it as he pulled it out of its guarded tomb. oh well it was good, so i guess that's what matters. we went back to the table and continued to play our drinking game. it was called, "let's rip apart everyone on the dance floor." i think my favorite part of the evening went down at the dessert table...

me: is that peanut butter on that cake?
D: it looks like it.
me: or is it butterscotch?
D: looks like peanut butter.
me: try it.
D: peanut butter (licking finger she just stuck in cake)
me: sweet.
D: not bad.
me: you got cheesecake AND peanut butter cake?
D: yes i did.
me: oh, because you stuck your finger in that one?
D: ew, no. i left that one on the table.

after all that, it was caramel.

[like my body?]

saturday night i met up with ms. b & ms. k for dinner. i had to park two parking lots away and walk to meet up with them. apparently applebees was the place to be at 9:30pm on saturday. we placed our order and then did the catching up thing. i didn’t realize that i hadn’t seen either one of them since the halloween party. they played around with my new phone and took pictures of random restaurant objects. ms. b was there the night before and she made fast friends with the bus boy. he was kinda cute, but like ms. b pointed out he looked a lot like B. he did, blah. as she was filling us in on how much money he makes, and that sort of thing, he happened to walk by and discover us talking about him. that prompted him to spend the rest of the night hanging out at our table. we love to make new friends with the people who bring us our food. that happens to us whenever the three of us go out to dinner now that i think about it. the food was good, and the conversation made me laugh a lot.

we were playing around with the skillet cozy thing that came with ms. k’s meal. it was long and tube-like and slipped over the handle of the skillet. i took a picture of it. it was kind of dirty and had odd burn marks on it as if it had one time been on fire. i told ms. b that i was going to make her kiss it. she then informed me that she would rather lick my ass. much to our delight the guy at the next table over heard her and looked over at us in horror. we tend to have that affect on people.

after dinner we made our way to ms. b’s to watch a movie. ms. k and i got scolded for talking too loudly and giggling while ms. b was trying to watch the end of Hush. tt least she was polite about it when she said, “i’m going to have to ask you to shut the fuck up, please.“ i laughed and told her that at least she had manners and asked us nicely. so we sat and whispered while looking through an old issue of star magazine. then we got scolded again for excluding ms. b. i had another airhead moment when ms. k told me that josh duhamel was still dating fergie and i of course thought she meant sarah ferguson, the artist formerly know as the duchess. once i saw the picture of fergie from black eyed peas i realized my mistake. ms. k did her killer impersonation of anna nicole from the trimspa commercials. i tried to quote it too but i ended up saying, “want a vespa,” instead of viper. that had us laughing for a while. then everything we saw we tried to incorporate into the commercial. ms. b thought we were freaks because she had never seen the commercial. so she kept flipping channels in an effort to find the stupid thing.

we exchanged our gifts from christmas too. as i was opening my one gift from ms. k i saw lance bass’ face staring back at me. “i see lance bass!” i said as i opened it, “sweet you got me an nsync purse.” it was a jewelry box with two layers that looked like a little purse. i told her i was going to tear out the inside of it and use it as my carrier for my xm radio. the sad thing is that i saw it at the dollar store a month or so ago and was too embarrassed to buy it for myself. leave it to her to get me a gift like that, that i secretly wanted.

after the gift exchange we decided to play "name that tune" by channel surfing the digital music channels. i of course kicked some major butt, no surprise there. i left the country songs for ms. k, but got most of the other ones. when beyonce came on we all three sang, “oh i love to love you baby” very high and very off key. that’s when i announced that something was seriously wrong with the three of us. if i didn’t know an artist i would just sing the song before it came on, this seemed to impress ms. b. yeah, i have mad skillz. every time we hit the hard rock one i would just yell out Gwar in a growl like voice. by 2am that was pretty funny. that and making up our own trimspa commercial. after doing that for close to thirty minutes we started ordering videos form the i-control thing on the cable box. i wasn’t allowed to watch gwen stefani, so i had to settle for liz phair.

by the time 3am came around, and after we finally got to see the much hyped trimspa commercial, i headed home. that was the most fun i’ve had in a long time. and we were sober too. complete fools, but sober fools.

[my jessica simpson moment]

her: his head looks stupid bald.
me: i didn't see him.
her: some heads look good bald, and some don't.

*i assume she's being her typical perv self, and that she's talking about two different kinds of heads.

me: how can you tell the good one from the bad one?
her: it's in the genes. (i of course heard it as jeans)
me: har har.
her: if he's naturally bald he looks good, a shaved head looks odd.
me: oooooh.
her: huh?
me: nothing.

[4.1]

dearest jj abrams,

i forgive you for alias season 3, and the train wreck that it was. you won my heart the very first time that felicity porter voiced her first, “hey” so of course i stuck with you for all of last season. i hated lauren, and her eyebrows. i loved to hate lauren. and then i loved to see lauren go(even with her new, better eyebrows). you gave us a tiny dose of will, new sexy shirtless will i might add. i loved sark. i missed sloane. and i stood by while you dumbed down one of the smartest hours on tv. i know it wasn’t your fault. the last three years no one was watching abc, they were scared. i know you and your running love of reinvention, the whole "new version of you". i lived through it time and time again on felicity and now it’s a huge part of lost. so i look at season 4 as your chance to shine. your chance to tell the stories you always wanted to tell, and the stories you did tell, this time with an audience. you even made marshall less like the cartoon he became last season, and more like the loveable dork we knew from seasons 1&2.

“we had eggs”
“am I dead?”
“syd, sloane’s behind you.”

awesome.

i couldn't have asked for a better season opener. well i could but the chances of an episode with a little sark on will action doesn't seem to be in the cards. so thank you for last night. the whole in my heart on wednesday nights that the wb created by axing felicity has now been filled.

p.s. the, “get in” scene with spydaddy, i can’t tell you how much that made me smile.
p.p.s. richard as syd’s "new partner”, too funny.
p.p.p.s. more meghan please, like now.

[i heart sydney bristow]

wednesday night.
9pm.
abc.
two hour season premiere.
rawk.

[we're getting our own show]

kia: i read your post. it made me vomit all over my computer screen, it was so sweet.

me: thanks for what you said on yours. that was so nice. i was gonna post a comment saying, "who wrote that for you?"

[overheard]

this is my addiction latest addiction:

i LOVE this site.

[resolve]

to eat less doritos, yeah right.
to eat more broccoli, not possible.

to drop 25 lbs. by the end of the year.
to be nicer.

yeah, that's doable.