because kia did it first

20 years ago I...
1. had B as my best friend and ms. k as my girlfriend.
2. was cool because i brought my tape player to recess.
3. loved "we built this city" by starship, and played it until it wore out.

10 years ago I...
1. was obsessed with party of five from day one.
2. put at least one hootie & the blowfish song on every mix tape i made.
3. partied a lot at josh's.

5 years ago I...
1. spent the whole summer with my sister.
2. fell in love with and became instant best friends with dawnnie.
3. had my favorite birthday night out.

3 years ago I...
1. spent the night with a boy i first had a crush on in 1997.
2. started working out.
3. bought my new car.

1 year ago I...
1. got lost driving into DC, got directions on the phone from ray, FINALLY met kia, then drove around dupont circle 100 times when i got lost again the next day.
2. became better friends with G and ms. b.
3. was really tan when nikki and i went to the wedding, the one she got WASTED at.

So far this year I...
1. spent a good chunk of time being sick, but had the summer off.
2. fell in love with and became addicted to my DVR.
3. came out to some more friends.

Yesterday I...
1. worked on my tan.
2. had an insanely strong margarita with G.
3. wore my new favorite thrift store T.

Today I...
1. worked on my tan.
2. had subway for lunch.
3. IMed kia.

Tomorrow I will...
1. work on my tan.
2. go bed shopping.
3. hang out with G or ms. b.

In the next year I will...
1. be happy.
2. be rich.
3. be in love.

um

the severe lack of posts may or may not have been directly related to a certain incident where a glass of water may or may not have been spilled on my keyboard, thus frying it.

i think this new keyboard is a little smaller than the last one. i keep hitting all the wrong keys when i type and i feel like a giant pounding away at something that's way too small for my hands. but it is clean a pretty and free of dorito crumbs stuck in various cracks...for now anyway.

yawn

the sun is out and it's super hot, but i still have ghost feet. perhaps i'll suck it up and go outside. S had her baby, but no one seems to know what she had or what the name is. my sister will be here in about six hours, and my week is pretty much filled up from that point on. i hope the test goes well on thursday, that could be a well needed change around here. it's funny how things pop up right when you give up on the idea of them, and look for a solution elsewhere. of course my over-thinking self can't decide if it's a sign to forget about option B, or pursue them hand in hand. yeah, i have no idea. friday is my second treatment, and i'm supposed to finally notice some results after it. that would be nice, i mean it's only been six weeks.

and happy birthday to the adorable jen! i hope it's a good one.

that was a strong smell for such a tiny woman

so today i decided to go to church with my mom. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. the minister that used to be there when i was a little kid was back for one sunday to preach his last sermon. he has an advanced form of brain cancer and isn't expected to live much longer. he wanted to see everyone that used to go there and say goodbye. i knew this going in and wasn't too keen on the idea of sitting in a church for an hour or two, watching a lot of people i knew growing up, weep. and i wasn't too excited about seeing my mom upset either. but i figured it would be easier for her if i was there, so i sucked it up. it ended up being better than what we both thought it was going to be, so i'm glad i went. it was good to see my aunt and cousin again and a few other people i haven't seen in six or seven years. we wound up in a pew with some old lady with a major case of b.o. i almost lost it when my mom turned to me, with a green face, and asked me if i could smell it too. i told her i was worried for a second that it was me and she assured me it was the little old lady next to her. she kept sliding away from the lady, closer into me, until she had me wedged up against the side of the pew. i laughed when she said, "i just hope no one thinks it's coming from me." of course it was packed in there, so i got warm real fast.

after church i met up with jules for lunch and a movie. it was full on ghetto style today. i used my gift card for lunch and bought my movie ticket with a roll of dimes. i need to get back to work soon, not want but need. now that i actually feel like getting out and doing things i have no money to pay for any of it. but i had soup and salad for lunch and it was good. yes it was like 90 out, but i was still craving some soup. we saw charlie & the chocolate factory. i really liked it. it was a little long near the end, but that was my only real complaint. the music numbers were insane, but they really worked. and i was worried that willy would be too oddball thanks to the previews, but that wasn't the case. johnny depp was the perfect degree of crazy for that movie. he did a great job.

and now i'm back with my old friend tv. they added some more episodes of fat actress to on-demand so i know where my night's going. two weeks left then it's back to work.

catching up

yesterday afternoon i met up with ms. k for a bite to eat and some catching up. we've both had a lot going on so our schedules have kept us from any face time since st. patrick's day. i swore it was more like a month or so, yikes. it was great to see her and just jump right back in where we left off. she looked a lot skinnier and she seemed happy when she filled me in on the wedding preparations. i took me an hour to get to the restaurant thanks to all the traffic. some chick was just stopped in the middle of the highway. the cars trapped behind her, as we all passed in the other two lanes, looked understandably pissed. so we ate and sat and talked for close to three hours. she said that she was worried that i was pulling a phoebe from friends and cutting her out of my life. i assured her that i've been missing from everyone's lives thanks to my medical issues and for her not to take it personally. after dinner i drove by G's to see if she was home so i could get her tape to her. her car was there but she didn't answer her phone. i was worried that she was inside getting reacquainted with her ex and feared telling me, so she dodged the phone call. turns out she was just in the shower. heh. i stopped for some ice cream on the way home, crashed in the chair and watched what i like about you. i heart mary cherry, even if she's not really mary cherry anymore. i fell asleep in the chair and missed both ms. b and G's attempts at contacting me. my long trek into the big city must have worn me out. i think i'll just stay in tonight and watch Big Brother 6 (unless G twists my arm) and get myself ready for the emotional highs and lows that tomorrow promises to deliver. tuesday my sister will be back in town for her third visit in as many months. i'm glad i had all this down time this summer, i usually wind up missing out on seeing her when she is in town. maybe i'll go work on the tan a little more. project ghost feet won't remedy itself.

i love technology, but not as much as you, you see

there's a huge black cloud hovering overhead, it's taunting me, keeping me from my desire to tan. no rain all summer until i decide to work on the tan (this week) and it's been cloudy every day. i'm not asking for that much, just an attempt at keeping my flip-flop clad feet from GLOWing in the dark while at the cinema.

my sister's boyfriend gave me the heads up to XMradio online. my only real complaint with XM was that i was restricted to listening to it in the car, and i'm rarely in my car these days. so this feature makes me very happy.

DVR catch-up update:
queer as folk season 5
the three Fat Actress episodes that on-demand has to offer
and seasons 1, 2, and most of 3 of Degrassi
(all caught up on 4 and 5)

now i'm moving on to Angel's last season, to make ms. k happy
Firefly starts in a week
and the movies i've been DVRing

today was Bully. wow. not so sure that i'll be able to sleep the next few nights after viewing that happy little flick. the fact that it was based on a true story was disturbing. before any of the real action went down, i kept thinking to myself, these are the type of people who vote for bush. i have no idea why i kept thinking that.

waiting for me:
Velvet Goldmine (B recommended it and i have seen some of it)
Hedwig (just to see it again)
Reefer Madness (the new version)

i really want to see the Island. i want to make plans with G, so we'll see. jules and i are supposed to hit up Charlie & the Chocolate Factory on sunday.

the fall movies look promising

when G and i saw war of the worlds the other night i finally got to see the trailer for elizabethtown that kia told me all about. the movie looks amazing. my kind of movie from start to finish. but the thing that had me most excited was catching a glimpse of paula dean on the big screen. wait, was that just paula dean? yes, yes it was. paula dean laughing and smiling on the big screen, commence gushing. i heart her so. what could be better than a movie with:

orlando


kirsten


susan


and paula


surely you could not put one more person in this movie that would make me want t o see it any more than i do right this very minute. what's that?

patty griffin!



after a little research i discovered that she's in it too. is that a microphone in that picture? does she sing in this movie? i need a moment...

another post about tv

showtime's new series weeds looks insane. i love mary-louise parker, kevin nealon not so much. i caught the "making of" special about it the other night after a mini-marathon of Fat Actress and QAF. it starts in august and looks like it might be the perfect blend of funny, sad and messed up. a widowed mother in the suburbs selling drugs to her neighbors in an effort to provide for her two young kids. i can't wait.

sundae sunday

i called G to see if she wanted to meet up for ice cream and a movie last night. we ate sundaes that were as big as our faces. peanutbutter cup, yum, so yum. we laughed at the 12 scoop sundae you were supposed to split with 12 people. i told her there was no way i'd ever eat anything that 12 other people were feeding off of. my limit is 1 other person. she said that she's been emailing her ex from high school again, ever since he sent her that random email a few months back. she said that he was planning his 11 year reunion and on 20 or so people were interested. i told her that she should send him an email about the sundae for 12, clearly that was the way to go for him. 2 sundaes would not only be affordable, but would be enough to feed all of the guests. she said that she would pass that along to him. i like to help when i can.

after the sugar fix we made our way to the cinema. i didn't want to get stuck in the front row and was worried when G was stopped by an usher who asked her to sign up for a card. i passed and said i'd fill mine out later. i told G it was a good thing the theater wasn't crowded when we finally made it inside because i seriously would have walked out on her ass. we sat and talked and played with her new phone before the movie started. it has a tv in it and of course she got a really good deal on it. she knows someone everywhere and she always gets things at an insane discount.

we watched captain crazy in war of the worlds. i really wanted to like the movie, i really kinda didn't. the ending was a stretch to say the least. i even yelled out "shut up," just like stacey london from tlc's what not to wear at one point i was so annoyed. i knew how it kind of ended because i remember parts of the book. but the way the additions wrapped up was a little hard to swallow. another thing i didn't understand was if everything stopped working during the attack: phones, lights, cars, watches... how did that one dude's video camera still have power to it? he was able to stand there and film the attack, until he was turned into dust that is. i don't get it. but at least the ice cream was good.

have it your way, my ass

dearest king of all burgers,

anyone who knows me knows that i do fast food maybe twice a year. unless i'm drunk and we somehow wind up at taco bell. but that's a whole other ball game. i'm talking about burger and fries kind of fast food. in fact i haven't had a fast food fry since last fall when i watched super-size me, that pretty much cured me of any craving. so yesterday i decided to be a sheep and cave to the marketing blitz that's been coming my way thanks to you, and visit one of your places of business. true, part of it was getting something with chris evans in tights on it, but mainly i wanted an amazon cash card. i knew going in that the chances of the card being worth anything more than one dollar were pretty slim. i also knew that i would have to pay around five dollars to get that one free dollar. i was okay with all of that. i even "king-sized" it, because that's what your commercial told me to do, knowing that i don't eat that much food at any one time. unless we're talking about doritos, and again, whole other ball game. anyway, i did it just for the damn card. and hey i know their track record there. i know how the girl likes to cough into her hand before handing me my change and any of my order. i was okay with that today. you see your campaign worked, i fell for it 100%. i even remembered to check the burger before pulling off to make sure that it in fact had only the ketchup and pickles i wanted and NOTHING else. i mean when i say, "just ketchup and pickles and nothing else," why do they always ask me if i want cheese on that? um no, not unless your cheese is now made from ketchup and pickles. if so, then sure why not. so i pulled away feeling okay with my purchase and the accuracy of my burger. then i got home, tore everything apart just looking for my card, forgetting that i had a meal to eat. "oh, it's probably on the box of fries," i thought. nope. "wait, was it on the drink cup?" nope. "burger wrapper? bag?" nope. nope.

damn the man, the one thing i stopped for, and you kept it. i have no idea why i'm even the slightest bit surprised by this outcome.

big brother 6

my thoughts so far...

out of the gate favorite: james. so cute. is he straight? i don't think he's straight.



is he a ken doll: howie. and not a cute one even, a dollar store rip off one.
when will they learn: eric. have you ever seen this show? the older dominating male who comes in and right away tries to form an alliance AND tries to gun for the girls might as well not even bother unpacking his bags.
annoying token line you hear every time: well i think of him as one of the girls anyway(about the gay guy).

the girls are all too hard to tell apart right now. but i don't really hate any of them...yet. A was my favorite at the start of last season if that gives you any indication at how bad i am at picking the girls who don't suck.

the summer of secrets, where everyone in the house knows at least one another person puts things on a little more even playing field. i tried to match up the pairs based on looks and actions but i'm not really sure who goes with who. my hunch is that:

michael + kaysar = friends? just the way they were talking outside.
eric + maggie = co-workers? just a hunch.
james + sarah = siblings? they look similarly adorable.
howie + rachel = they look a lot alike(sorry rachel), and they were the last two standing as if they were in it together.

other than that i have no clue, but it will be interesting to see how everyone matches up, and if i'm right on any of mine.

i hope she's not the one with the needle

lady: hello?
me: um, hi? i need to set up an appointment for a tuberculosis test.
lady: what's your name?
me: J Falangie.
lady: who's your doctor?
me: dr. Kenneth Smith.
lady: how did you get this number?!
me: um, it's the number i have listed in my phone for the doctor.
lady: this is the doctor's private line, not the number for appointments, but it's fine i can help you.
me: ...um...
lady: okay, your name was Kenneth Falangie?
me: nope, my doctor is Kenneth Smith.
lady: oh, right.
me: i'm J, J Falangie.
lady: and this was for a PPD test?
me: no, i think i'll let the baby live another week, i need a tuberculosis test.
lady: oh right, TB. okay, i can get you in monday.
me: okay, see you then?

not just because scott thomas is pretty

the ringside cd is like the sweetest summer soundtrack ever. long rides on a summer night. windows down, the warm breeze crawling over every inch of skin. fireflies and stars in a huge open sky. bonfires, the warmth and the smell. laying in B's back yard, looking up at the meteor shower. beer. traverse city in august. walking on the beach at night. a not so mad dingo in gulf breeze. it brings a lot of those things to mind. it has a chill vibe. upbeat and laid-back at the same time is the best way to describe it. like if beck and the gorillaz had sex with jude, ringside would be their baby. it's a great cd. i'm glad i took a chance on in, just knowing that one song.

i'd so have road rage if i wasn't prettier than you

true it's been a while since i've been a part of everyday life, out in the general public and all that. i really miss it until i'm out in it, then i start to second-guess myself. who knew that in my absence complete stops and a general use of any brakes what so ever had fallen by the wayside. like four people just rushed out in front of me today, not even giving it a second thought. and leave it to me to find the one person who actually comes to a stop that doesn't have to(the cross traffic stops, not us)and almost hit her. wow.

picked up a wireless router for the donated laptop, $5 after rebates, holla. i've been good at not spending money for two months now so i felt completely justified in spending $5 on something that i honestly don't even really need. of course i talked myself into picking up the ringside cd that i talked myself out of buying moments before walking in the door. i don't know why i try to kid myself into thinking that i've successfully talked myself out of buying something when i'm thinking about buying it the entire way to the store. total lack of self-control. but i say if it ain't broke don't fix it.

the 1% of free-time that i currently have, the only percent not occupied by the DVR, is about to disappear tonight. i can't wait for Big Brother 6. this is the one reality show that i'm a freak for. i do casually watch other shows from time to time, but i go out of my way to not make plans on Big Brother nights. and yes i realize that's not anything to brag about. i have very low expectations for this season since 3 and 5 were so amazing, but i'll still check it out. it's kind of like the real world theory where every other one blows. the newest twist sounds like it could be drama-filled or hella lame, so we'll see.

more low-key festivities.

i swear it's been like ten years since i've seen fireworks on the fourth of july. here's to another year without. it was nice to get up early and head out on the drive south with my mom to my uncle's place. the sun shining, sunglasses on, ninety degrees. it was just good to be out in the world, living. not sitting here on my butt wondering if the day, when i eventually wake up feeling fully healed, will ever get here. it was nice to be greeted with warm smiles by a garage filled with family members. even seeing the uncle who always wanted to weigh you every time he saw you in your childhood days of being a little pudge. i mean, seriously who does that? why would you do that? and did he seriously always have a scale in hand just waiting for the opportunity for someone to take him up on his offer? after some minor health problems of his own and the advancement of age he's a lot easier to be around. the irony of the situation is now that i've lost all the weight and really wouldn't care if he asked me to get up on a scale, he no longer really seems all that interested. so we sat and talked and ate and just enjoyed the day. my other uncle is insane and i honestly enjoy every minute i spend with him. he reworks jokes into stories and begins to tell you something that happened to him only to pull the rug out from under you as you realize that he's telling you yet another joke. the sight of my aunt and my uncle's girlfriend laughing at their dirty little remark about boxes in a church was enough to make my day. i guess i see where i got it from, years of growing up around these people. after the picnic we said our goodbyes and then headed to the cemetery to visit my uncle's grave, in one month he'll have been gone a year. the reality of that still hasn't settled in for me. then we walked over to my dad's grave and then my grandparents'. it's easy to find yourself removed from the situation you're in, standing there looking at a bunch of stones in the ground. it's hard to wrap your mind around the fact that the people you knew and loved for so many years, people that were everyday parts of your life are now just missing from it. parts of your life that are no longer just there like you always naively assumed they would be. i guess you don't notice people as much when they're always there. sometimes it takes not being able to call them or see them whenever you want to make you realize how huge they really were to you. that's sad, it really should go the other way. the day wound down with some ice cream and hearing fireworks off in the distance. i still didn't get to see any, maybe next year.

connect

i find myself caught off guard a lot by the way things connect. like when my mother casually mentions that fifteen years ago this weekend my uncle first found out that his cancer had returned. he passed away a few months later, in the fall. my first thought was of that weekend because my parents went to michigan to visit him and my cousin came over to stay with me and my sister. we went to the tiny locally owned video store that was down the street. that was really our only option at the time, that or renting one of the ten movies the local grocery store carried. renting wasn't that big of a deal back then. we really only rented movies once or twice a year, mainly for birthday parties. our summers were spent outside. sick days meant we were sick, if we couldn't go to school then we didn't go to the store to rent a movie. and if were were inside, stuck in front of the tv, there was always something on. but that weekend we felt like superstars walking up and down the aisles of the video store, each of us allowed to pick out one movie for the weekend. i picked steel magnolias, wow what a shocker. that's a normal pick for a fifteen year old boy right? my sister picked she's out of control with tony danza, one of the greatest thespians of our time. and my cousin picked pretty woman. it's strange that that was the first thing that came to my mind when my mom mentioned that time. the crazier part was an hour or so later when i sat down to watch tv, turned it on, and found pretty woman staring back at me. i remember not really understanding the gravity of the situation at the time. i also remember crying a lot a few months later at my uncle's funeral. my cousin was there with us, looking after, again, as we sat there in the funeral home.

head trip

i hate taking a step back and looking at my life and thinking to myself, "oh that's just great i've become a sad pathetic stereotypical character that belongs on the latest season of the real world. yeah, that's just great."

if you could crawl inside my head. and really the question is, why would want to? but hey let's say you're bored on a week night (because the trip really doesn't warrant* the price of an oh so important weekend day) so yeah, you're bored and it's a tuesday and all your laundry is done and you say, "hey i feel like crawling inside of j's head." well, all you'd hear is ringside's "tired of being sorry" on a continuous loop. and hey, you might even catch me doing a booty shake to said song. you really never know. things get crazy around here.

*speaking of warrant. you know that one hit wonder metal/hair band from the eighties. "she's my cherry pie" and all that? yeah, well the lead singer attended my high school. yeah, we're ever so proud.