oh ivette, you suck

i love the fact that ivette, miss high and mighty, was bawling her head off tonight. after accusing rachel of being such a poor sport and being such an ungracious loser in the goodbye speech from last week, it was so fitting to see her fall apart tonight.

april, i know ya'll find it so hard to believe but it's true, america hates the friendsheep and loves janelle. we love her so much that we'd rather vote for her to win a silly and shallow phone call from michael rather than let a single one of you talk to your family.

janelle can still win this.

"just remembering, just remembering how we were."

and then she says,
she believes in dreaming.
and then she says,
she talks to the stars.
and then she says,
she can see forever, where we are.

a relationship from end to beginning is a funny perspective. you can see the bullshit and lies for exactly what they are, not the candy-colored lies that were always dressed up in their pretty sunday best. a rushed mix tape that was a lot like love. skips and an apology. you wanted to be here, you were there, and we just made the best of a bad situation. “you know i’d change it if i could”, i knew. but the best always has a way of working itself out, even if the best isn’t the best at the time, at least not to you. i realized much too late that your question of my intentions wasn’t so much an objection, more of a plea. who knew you wanted more? i guess you’d feel pretty silly then if you knew what you know now. i feel pretty silly now putting all my eggs in one basket, i guess that’s a warning for a reason. i took too many things for granted by making you first, last and everything. i took too many people for granted. and i know people are always saying it’s the kind of thing that if you could go back and relive it all you wouldn’t change a thing because all of the good that you had made the journey really worth it. it’s just too bad that i can’t say that about you. about us. about then. funny how things work out that way i guess.

i keep finding tiny pieces of you here and there and i have to admit i find a certain joy in throwing every one of those pieces out.

-no, you drive. i like the way it looks when someone else is driving my car.
-a sippy-sip.
-come with me. i can’t. it would be so much fun. it would be an insane amount of fun, but i can’t.
-i’m kissing you at midnight. haha. i’m not joking, i’m kissing you, so get ready.
-i can’t believe i’m invited to one of your parties. what? i’ve been waiting for all of high school to be invited. are you serious?
-he thinks you’re my boyfriend. oh, did you tell him otherwise? no, i don’t care if he thinks that.
-tell her, tell her i’m socially retarded, you know that. i don’t even know what that means.
-do you think they can tell we’re stoned? no, they’re too drunk to notice. but i keep trying to respond to what you’re saying but instead i’m saying exactly what you’re saying back to you, but slower.
-look at all the happy couples out on the dance floor. i know, doesn’t it make you just wanna die?
-you know how much i hate being in wet clothes. i know. but i’m okay with it, because i’m here with you, and you‘re having fun. i know, and i love you for that.
-why is stephan jenkins looking at us like he wants to kill us? i have no idea, but let’s try our best not to piss him off.
-what are you guys doing out here? we’re finishing off this bottle of wine and talking about our dogs that died. oh, well, um, are you going to join us inside for dinner? yeah we’ll be right in as soon as this dixie chicks song is over.
-i still can’t believe i showed him my bra & panty club card. who cares, he was a loser and now he’s gone. true.

a lifetime in the span of ten years. if i knew the end long before the beginning i’m not sure if i would have started with that hello.

i never see any hookers

N2: i think i saw a hooker the other day.
me: what?
N2: and a pimp.
me: what?!
N2: yeah, i'm pretty sure.
me: where?
N2: on my way home. he was chasing her down the street.
me: are you serious?
N2: yeah, and she was yelling, "don't hurt me, don't hurt me."
me: that's messed up.
N2: and he was chasing her with a rock, that's why i think he was her pimp.
me: he was throwing rocks at her?
N2: no, he was just waving it in the air. and it was a big chunk of cinder block, not just a regular rock.
me: that's insane.
N2: yeah, that's why i want to move out of my neighborhood.
me: that would do it.

i swear nikki2 tells the best stories and has the most interesting life. i think i missed her the most while i was away from work.

this post has nothing to do with BB6

it's funny that when people haven't heard from me for a few days they leave voicemailage saying things like:

-i hope everything is okay with you.
-are you still alive?
-did you leave the country? did you get stopped at the border? are they doing weird butt things to you to make sure you aren't smuggling anything out of the country? come back, we love you. america loves you. (my personal favorite from ms. b)

maybe i should be worried. my sister was back in town over the weekend for her last visit of the summer. we saw the 40 year-old virgin, really the only movie on my must see list for the summer. i've seen a lot of movies for someone with a must see list of one movie, but whatever. it was really good. funny, touching, lots of catherine keener, everything you need in a movie. it had me smiling a lot. and i got my matty tickets for his small show this fall. now i just need to find someone interested in going with me. i love three day weekends, i need to invest in a few more of them.

Jen, still happy with your decision?

when Ivette is the voice of reason for your group, you know you have a problem.

Janelle: Rachel you’re so beautiful,
Rachel: Thanks Janey, so are you.
Janelle: Maggie you’re such a bitch.
(i saw time stand still as it looked like maggie’s ugly head was ready to explode)

I LOVE JANELLE!

April: he’s looking like the idiot here.
Janelle: at least he doesn’t look like a liar.
the fact that she said this with an icy stare, not once pausing while filing her nails, was fantastic.

Hurricane Howie. April’s break down. awesome. honey, i’m pretty sure God doesn’t hear prayers that involve a reality show game, c’mon. amen y’all.

Howie: Jen, how does it feel to be hated by America?

reasons to hate Jen, thursday’s installment…
1) the fat bitch went from saying:
this will be my decision, i won’t let my group sway me.
to:
this was my group’s decision, it surprised me, but i went with it. WTF?
2)laughing during janelle’s speech? you nasty evil bitch.
3)and throwing the HOH key instead of handing it to Janelle? wow, that’s class. you really suck.

this was hands down my favorite hour of tv ever. i knew it would be good from reading the live feeds recap, but i never dreamed it would be this good.

Janelle winning HOH and then yelling: bye bye bitches!

i heart her. i so want her to win.

more tv talk

okay, so when did this Jen bitch even join the big brother house? did someone leave the door open just a bit too long when they let kaysar back in? i would almost swear that’s what happened if it wasn’t for the fact that her ass is too huge to get through that small of an opening that fast, and unseen no less. true Howie messed up by opting not to take out one of the sheep when he has his chance, AND the Kay-man never should have believed someone who makes a living leading cheers. i mean everyone knows cheerleaders are dancers who’ve gone retarded. but the thought of any one of those vomit inducing sheep walking away with 1 million dollars is enough to bring a tear to my eye, or a hammer to my skull. i’d love to see my Janelle win HOH this week, assuming that she makes it through tomorrow, and become a mega bitch. one sheep can fall, even with nominating two, and the chance of a veto win, that still leaves one to wipe out. but my heart will still break just a lil’ bit tomorrow night when one of my two favorites gets evicted.

the new American Idol winner creeps me out in a major way and i have no idea why. but i wanna scream and run far far away when i hear singing that effing kit-kat jingle.

i love the new david gray single. it makes me want to pull the car off the road and shake my booty. shake it hardcore.

Matty’s coming back! my boyfriend Matt Nathanson for those not in the know. i’m so there.

tv

real world austin.
the cameras following danny home to bury his mom crosses a line. them doing it, him allowing it. eww.

big brother 6.
the creepy cult-like "the friendship" must be stopped. maybe when maggie's heart is broken, as kaysar walks through the door on thursday, she'll gather up the sheep in the backyard and serve up some special punch.

weeds.
justin chatwin seducing an older man, then jumping up and down on the bed in only his underwear much like the rules of attraction scene. thank you.

mary-louise parker's character tripping the little boy who was being mean to her son and then making fun of him. awesome.

vote kaysar!

ms. b and i are starting our own campaign to bring 1/2 of our favorite couple this summer back into the big brother house. i was all set to give up, but there's still hope to see janelle and kaysar in the final two. please, even if you don't watch this show, have any idea of what i'm talking about, or even care, just take a second to go to cbs.com and vote to bring kaysar back into the house. it will only take a second, i know it's silly but i take my big brother viewing very seriously. so thank you.

friday

i'll be honest, when she said, "well how do you feel? do you feel like you're able to go back to work on monday?" i did kick around the idea of taking just one more week off. another week of late nights with the DVR. another week of mornings spent working on the tan. but i sucked it up and decided to be an adult about it, shocking i know, and go back to work. i mean i am pursuing other avenues and i do have two weeks of vacation waiting for me on the other side of this medical leave, so it's not as devastating as it could be. so i figured it was best to get back and work on building up the bank account.

i saw the dukes of hazzard today. there wasn't one single scene with bo or luke shirtless chopping wood like they used to do on the tv show. wtf? true seann william scott's jeans were very tight, but that's all we got. for all the scenes of jessica simpson in a bikini, that's all we got. i mean how can you put seann in a movie like this with a body like that and not put a random and unnecessary shirtless scene in there somewhere? this makes no sense to me. at all. but i did like it. roscoe was probably the worst casting ever in the recently popular run of tv to movie remakes, but aside from that it was pretty good. for some reason the lights kept randomly coming on in the theater throughout the movie. i guess that translates into a free pass for another time in movie speak, not that i'm complaining. so basically i got to see seann in tight jeans, very tight t's, and lots of cool car chases for free. can't beat that.

p.s.
i'm in love with james blunt's song you're beautiful. i mean, like wow.

from wednesday to wednesday to wednesday

it's august, i'm not sure how that happened. i remember it being may 12th. i was nervous about having my surgery, but was anticipating the next two weeks off. two weeks turned into two months and the summer is almost over. i'm not sure where all the days went, but i've been happier than i have in a long time just being away from that place. i think that should tell me something, and i know that it does when i stop and think about it. relaxing, tanning, spending time with my friends and family, watching movies and lots of Degrassi. that pretty much sums up my summer vacation. oh and ice cream, lots of ice cream. i know i should be thankful for the time that i had, but part of me wants to be greedy and ask for more. my bank account on the other hand is telling me to get my butt back to work.

my sister was home. we hung out, went to lunch, saw the wedding crashers, hung a blind for my mom, made dinner, and caught up. i saw the island with G, it was okay, it could have been a lot better than it was. they really just let the entire movie fall apart at the end and it really bothered both of us when we walked out of the theater. the wedding crashers was hilarious though. i fell more in love with rachel mcadams, she is so cute. and vince vaughn is insane and he never lets me down. had lunch with ms. b. rick was our waiter again. it's been so long since i last saw him that i had to text G to find out what his name was. we sat in the empty restaurant and talked for hours and caught up on all that's been going on. we went back to her place to see her new puppy. i tried to hatch a plan to sneak it out of the house and take it home with me, but ms. b was onto me. she's so cute, and even the tiny amount of pee she dribbled on my arm when i was holding her didn't take away from her level of cuteness...the dog, not ms. b. after saying our goodbyes to Lil, we hit up a couple of thrift stores. i found a new favorite shirt that i've already worn out twice. i had another round of my treatment, it went well, no major issues with that so that's good. had lunch and went shopping with my mother. and got a new bed, thanks to my mom. it's huge, and pretty and i can't wait until it gets here. i took my $100 in rolled change to the bank, yeah it's come to that. then went to see the fantastic 4, it was cute. there were quite a few scenes where chris evans had very little on, and to be honest that was really the only requirement i had going into that movie. i watched party monster, um that was odd. my feet no longer glow in the dark. i'm all out of Degrassi episodes to watch, half-way through the final season of Angel that i've been DVRing, and now i'm just counting down the days until i'm sad again. next monday is going to suck.