corbin fisher, a roundtable discussion

kia: oh i have seen this kid.
kia: i saw him bottom.
me: who?
kia: lucas.
me: oh.
me: i love how all these "straight" boys bottom more than i do.
kia: Poodle, no one bottoms more than you.
me: goodbye.
kia: hahahaha.
kia: god i am funny!

kia: how many Straight guys eat ass?
me: is this a knock knock joke?
kia: haha.
kia: he either is a) not straight or b) getting paid a hell of a lot of money.

Lost, wow.
the tiny little explosion you heard was the sound of my mind being blown, i loved the pacing of the other first 44 days. i especially loved the freaky camera work during the last two minutes.

Invasion, eeek.
okay, okay, so i'm liking the show a lot more. it's still uber confusing, but i can't stop watching. and i no longer want to, stop that is.

another D classic

me: she was telling me how she can't watch ellen any more.
D: why? because she's a lesbian?
me: yeah, she said she used to like her but now she can't stand her.
D: she's still the same funny person she always was, who cares who she sleeps with.
me: maybe she's afraid that watching ellen's show will turn her into a lesbian.
D: well that's what happened to me.
me: ha! does your husband know about this?
D: no, i thought i'd tell my homophobic religious daughter first.

D: (looking at a picture of ryan reynolds) is he from four guys and a pizza?
me: what?!?
D: that's not what it's called is it?
me: that sounds like the name of a porno.
D: what did i mean?
me: two guys, a girl and a pizza place?
D: oh yeah, right.

as i was approaching the stop sign i saw your car making its way out of the parking lot across the street. i couldn't quite believe it when you shot across both sides of the road and came within inches of hitting me. i know i scared the 100 year-old woman who was in the passenger seat. i could tell by the look i saw on her face as she craned her neck to see me stopping extremely close to the thin layer of glass that separated the front of my car from her face. i'm also pretty sure that she soiled herself, and the seat of your car. well, in my mind she did anyway. it made me feel good to slam my hand on the horn, until i looked down and saw your bumper sticker. honk if you love jesus, it read. all i could picture was you nodding your head saying, "yes, yes he feels the love."

ohio, michigan, ohio

i spent the majority of the weekend in my car.
i attended my cousin's not so much of a surprise, surprise party.
i bought a purse, well a messenger bag in the men's section, but i decided to start telling people that i now carry a purse.
i saw my favorite two kids in the whole wide world.
i saw the cuter clone of assface still working at the barney's in toledo, now 50% gayer, and it still freaks me out a little one year later.
i think i'm getting a cold.
i stayed the night in a hotel in the ghetto, but i survived and so did my car.
i realized that i suffer from road rage, if you cut me off for no apparent reason i will speed up, get around you, and then cut you off just because you deserve it.
i saw the cutest boy in a tight pink tee and flip flops shopping for hunting paraphernalia.
i met my cousin's tiny, tiny little wife from china who is so adorable that i wanted to carry her home with me in my lil' pocket.
i heard a lot of great songs on xm on the drive up.
i didn't write the names of the songs down on a piece of paper.
i no longer remember what any of the songs were.
i the span of 24 hours i paid $2.06, $2.26 and $1.99 for gas.
i am about to kick it on the couch and watch some degrassi, south of nowhere and my latest crush on the horrible show the war at home.


p.s. if you're said cute boy in the pink tee and you find yourself reading this, please feel free to email me.

fragile

it's strange, as the ambulance passes by with lights flashing, you never consider that someone you know is on the other side of the doors fighting for their life.