*no animals were killed in the making of this update, this week.

sunday:
i decide to make my mom’s day and finally go to her new church with her. the couple that she and my dad were friends with before i was born go there, and seemed happy to see me as well. i was told i looked like my baby picture. i replied with, "yeah i have about the same amount of hair". we exchange our easter gifts. i get some gift cards, chocolate and oxy. i think that’s fitting that the two are given in the same basket. she’s too funny. i send chels a picture to let her see that i am dressed up and in fact going to church. she sent me a dollar in my easter card and told me i needed to get my butt to church and that i should use the dollar for my offering. she texts me back and says that, surprisingly enough, she too is attending church, and now we’ll both be saved. after church we meet up with my uncle and his girlfriend for lunch at anthe’s. it was tasty, no real surprise there. i think the main ingredient in their rolls is crack because i crave them all the time. i get home and talk to my sister a bit on the phone. i watch a good year, it’s not bad. worth a rental. i expected it to be a little more touching, maybe kind of sad, but it’s really not.


monday:
work is eerily quiet, not that i’m complaining, i just have a hard time believing that i’m not dreaming. speaking of dreaming, at a little before 1 a.m. or so, while asleep, i hear my name being called out quite loudly. it’s a woman’s voice, i wake up, am seriously freaked out, then fall back asleep. i can’t stop thinking about it all day. D and E have some more drama, nothing really new there. i’m still very happy i transferred out of that department. i like my quiet little department in the back. an 80 year-old man, going about 80 mph, does his best to run me and several other cars off the road. wtf? i go five over the speed limit and get nervous as i look up and see a cop in my rearview mirror. this freak is going double the speed limit and gets away with it. i just don’t get it. i arrive home to find a box of cds (the new efforts from neko case, sufjan stevens, aqualung, the arcade fire, joss stone, and modest mouse. along with amy winehouse and the hold steady) from my sister and my amazon order waiting on me. yay! G sends me some email gossip about the hills, mainly heidi. the subject line simply reads, “heidi”. seriously, we both have a hard time NOT being obsessed when it comes to this show.

tuesday:
i get daily notices in the mail that this is my last chance to renew my subscription to details, act now or my membership of 15 years will all have been for nothing. or this is my last chance to apply for this credit card, if they don’t hear from me today it will never be offered again. you know, i really wish that were true. save a rainforest, stop sending me this shit.

i get home and check out episode 1 of the last 7 king of queens ever. it’s still a really funny show even after all this time, i’m going to miss doug & carrie. i FINALLY finish shortbus. while it had some touching moments, a few really great scenes, some good music, and one adorable guy i still feel like i’m missing something. i really can’t say that it was a good movie, or that i liked it. at all. i get all caught up on jericho, is it wrong that i want to see the mother get shot in the face? they don’t generally show that sort of violence on the show, however if it came to her i wouldn’t mind. her acting is so over the top, and i loathe her big speeches. and pretty much everything about her.

i’m moving pretty quickly through the paula deen memoir, at least i’ve found a book to finally hold my interest. i started the dante club, and the alienist for the second time, and neither one was doing it for me.

wednesday:
my mother offers to take me to lunch, so i accept. i plan on running to target to pick up a book and the new bright eyes cd. we kill some time at target, then head to the bank so she can cash a check for her chicago adventure! we shop for dresses at talbot’s, for her not me, to kill even more time. then we hit wal-mart (cringe) while waiting for 11 a.m. to arrive. while trying to track down a book for my mother, i look up to discover a cute guy checking me out. i never know the proper way to respond to someone looking at me, so more often then not i tend to scowl. i guess i scowl because my mind is racing and i’m trying to figure out what to do and i guess that’s the look i give when i’m deep in thought. needless to say i’ve never won anyone over with my scowl. but when i attempt to smile i feel like i smile just like chandler on friends while posing for a picture, so i don’t feel this option is any more appealing. maybe i should start wearing a shirt that says, “yes i’m interested, don’t let my furrowed brow lead you to believe otherwise”. sigh.

thursday:

conversations throughout my day…

will: i thought you were left handed.
me: nope.
will: huh.
me: does that blow every theory you ever had about me right out of the water?
will: pretty much.
me: and you thought you had me all figured out.

me: that lady was a total bitch.
dennis: i told crystal to handle it.
me: good.
dennis: then i told her to handle me.
me: how does that help me? i’m the one she was a bitch to.
dennis: don’t worry, i’ll let you watch.

me: looks good.
bob: i know, but don’t let the wife hear you saying that, she’ll scratch your eyes out.
me: i didn’t mean you.
bob: oh.
me: trust me.
bob: okay, okay.

i get offered a spot on the bowling team, but turn it down for fear that the people i work with would see the sight that is me bowling. people run screaming from bowling alleys when i attempt to bowl, so i’ve had to hide my mad bowling skills away from the world. skee-ball is another story entirely, that i can kick anyone’s ass in, just ask kia. a shopping cart scratches up my car. mother fucking lazy ass people! if you are too lazy to walk your cart the two feet to the cart corral, where it goes, then you probably shouldn’t be eating in the first place. you’re probably the same people who walk around the store half folded over, practically in your cart, using it as a walker. thanks for scratching up my car, i hope you die. *end rant*

i get home and check out the latest episode of Lost. my head nearly explodes at the badassness of juliette. i want her to be bad, and i want her to be good at the same time. added bonus, locke is nowhere to be found. ms. k emails me to confirm what i already know, the episode was amazing.

friday:
i leave work early to pick up my mother and drive her to the airport for her little Chicago weekend. two plus hours in the car, talking on the way up, listening to the new brandi carlile on the way back. i make a quick stop to pick up some much needed groceries for the weekend, then head home. i have some leftover chicken, attempt to get caught up on some tv: earl, the office, and some wonder years episodes. i put in the first disc from dante’s cove season one and crawl into bed. it’s pretty good, no queer as folk, the music is really the only annoying part. i expected the acting to be much worse than it is. then i fall asleep listening to a new patty mix i made on my phone.

saturday:
i talk to will for a bit, he tells me of his atheist ways which developed in the fifth grade? i order and inhale a pizza, do some laundry, and ponder my evening. i have another road trip to and fro the airport in the a.m. so it looks like i’ll just be staying in yet again. back and forth with G and chels, a conversation with kia (this time she doesn't hang up on me) and then keara, and nothing much else.