5.22.07

Tuesday:

Surreal. Where do I begin? I meet Ms. K for dinner at this great italian place my uncle introduced me to. Since she is coming from work, and it's pretty close to her place, I decide we'll meet there. I remember the service being slow, but the food being delicious, so I figured the good outweighed the bad. Our waitress was a freak, there is no way to put it in a nicer way. The only other explanation for it, outside of her genuinely being a freak, would be that she was seriously strung out on something. I ordered a small pizza and an antipasta salad. I would up paying the dollar or so more for the antipastatification, but wound up getting just a regular salad. When the put my small pizza in front of me I quickly saw it was enough for three people. I looked at Ms. K and she looked at me, but before we knew it our waitress had evaporated into the ether. I waited a few minutes before taking a slice because I was trying my best to flag our waitress down. She never came back. I couldn't complain about my salad, and I couldn't ask about my pizza. Apparently she just no longer existed. So I ate my two slices while Ms. K ate her food and we sat and talked for over an hour. Our waitress never came back. The hostess eventually refilled our drinks, obviously she was informed that our waitress died somewhere in the kitchen and took pity on us. Then like magic she reappeared long enough to drop off the check and blow right by us. Our bill was over fifty dollars, and we both drank water. What the? Not only was I charged for a large pizza, but the crack head threw on an additional large pizza and a sausage sandwich. Nice. After another thirty minutes we were able to get our waitress to come back to us. This was after many attempts at eye contact and then both of us giving up and waving our arms in the air. We tried to explain what was wrong with our check but she walked off and said, "my bad" before we could say anything. She took the wrong items off, but still had my pizza listed as a large. After sitting there ten or so minutes more we explained our situation to another waiter who informed us he'd have to speak to a manager about it to get permission to fix our bill. Then we watched him walk over to our waitress, stand at a computer for a minute, and then bring the adjusted bill to us. Never once did any manager get involved. Okay. So we just sat and talked for thirty or so minutes more. Our waitress refused to come near us again. She eventually sent the waiter back to our table and ask us if she could have her tip. Apparently she felt that something she did warranted a tip. I was worried he was coming to tell me that he wanted the pizza back since I got more than what I paid for. I swore I saw him reach for it but Ms. K said I was imagining it. Of course we tipped her because we do in fact suck. Not as much as her mind you, but we still do. We said our goodbyes in the parking lot and headed home.